Hit the proverbial wall....

....again. Been living with back pain for close to 40 years. The past 15 of them or so I have lived on Oxycodone & Oxycontin. In October 2018 my pain changed, did not get worse just felt different. Doc sent me out for an MRI, said it was time to see a cutter....my doc is not a fan of most back surgeries. Went to see "the guy" in our area...he said nothing he could do. He sent me to see a pain clinic that is not about using your spine as a dart board (epidurals). Pain doc felt I was a good candidate for a Spinal Cord Stimulator. Had one implanted, while it got rid of all of my sciatic pain it did very little for my back. Another MRI. My herniated L4-5 disc had improved, the L3-4 worsened. Put a Vertiflex in. I'll be damned...pain level dropped dramatically. Pain clinic decided it was time for to go to PT. I am WAY overweight. I am also very "tight". I have never been flexible, my hamstrings have always been very tight.
Month or so into therapy I developed this pain in my rib cage. I developed Costochondritis: Overview, Causes, and Symptoms
Docs told me it was probably because of how stiff I was, that my body was compensating for areas that are supposed to be flexible not being so.
Ever since having the Vertiflex put in I have felt a different pain. Felt higher in my back. Felt deeper. Pretty much felt like I had been punched in the spine.
So therapy has been a week of doing stretches and exercises followed by a week of just heat and ultrasound. That is until today...
Joel, the therapists, was a bit concerned with me when I got there. When I walked out of therapy on Monday my pain level was 1..today it was more like 6.
He had me lay on the table and he started pushing. He gently pushed on the scar from the Vertiflex. No noticeable increase in pain. Pushed a bit higher, nada. A bit more...and well...I damn near jumped off the table.
He is thinking I now have TLJ....
Thoracolumbar Junction Pain Syndrome: a Cause of Low Back, Hip, Pubic & Pseudovisceral Pain
I am clueless as to what this all means, long term, for me and my desire to get off the drugs and get back to some sort of normal life. As luck would have it I have an appointment with the pain clinic tomorrow. The leads for my stimulator are placed well above me T-12/L1 area. What I am going to ask is if they can reprogram my stimulator. Right now it is only firing at the very bottom of the leads, which if I remember right is below the T-12/L1 junction. I am hoping that, if they agree with me, that if they can use the stimulator to mask my new pain until I develop some flexibility. I realize that this is not the right way to approach this. Problem is I feel like a dog chasing its tail right now. I don't hurt. Stretch a few days I hurt. So I stop stretching for a few days. Any progress I made by the few days of stretching is greatly reduced by stopping. Feel like I am going 1' forward, 11.75" backward.
Beyond frustrated right now. If it were not for my very caring, loving wife I would just eat a bullet...and put an end to this miserable existence....