If your car could talk

What would it say about you and where you've been. It knows what you've done when you thought no one was watching...... oh the stories.

Especially if your mopar is like your buddy and goes with you everywhere you go lol.

I'd have to do something to silence it for sure... I started driving the car in my avatar when I was 16, and started dating my wife of 45 years in it when I was 17. There are some youthful indiscretions that would better be just between the two of us. And then there's the issue of driving it at Cecil County Drag-A-Way (Traction Capital of the World!!!!!), when it was still my Dad's car, with no permission. But that came out when he went looking for something in my bedroom closet after I left for college - hard to hide a couple of 2 foot tall class winner trophies.

My first car, the 72 Duster would have some stories to tell, for sure!

My second vehicle was a 69 Chevy van. No need to go into those stories, lol.

Then I went back to Mopar with a 74 Dodge van. It took me and my friends to probably a dozen Van-ins. It has plenty of stories to tell from inside and outside at those van-ins.

My car would talk about all the lunch breaks.

To me, a good car is a car you can eat in without getting grossed out by any weird smells or stains that nobody can explain.

A t shirt and duct tape over a tattered seat goes a long way.

........I'm too certain the statute of limitations has expired.........

AND NOW, and incredibly annoying story from the old days

"Somewhere in the midst" of the "gas shortage" of the 70's I had a bright idea to turn my 64 Dodge 440 (body) into more of a hotrod, and turn my 440-6 RR into "more of" an economy car. This turned out to get accelerated because I'd been trapped by the CHP (San Diego, NAS Miramar at the time) ---trapped in a roadsite smog check.

So I bought a low miles junkyard 340 and stuck that into the 70RR. In order to get it in and running, I'd talked the junkyard into throwing in a set of 318 B body manifolds and "Y" piple.

So when I first got the 340 driveable, I was BROKE and it had 318 single exhaust. THE PERFORMANCE was completely driveable, but not terrible "impressive."

So:

A friend of mine and I were wandering around one night, headed eventually to his place S of San Diego in Paradise Hills, (National City.) We were stopped at this light at the throat of a 2-lane freeway entrance onto I-5S from San Diego. Gary says "you know these guys in this van?" I look over and said "no."

"Well they were sure looking YOU over"

So the light is green, we turn the corner, I accelerate some, and we get on the freeway. And here comes the van, he wants to race. This is a hippy van don't remember what. So I so I sped up some, and got ahead of him, he should have realized "this is not a race."

HERE HE COMES AGAIN!!!!

So I get into 3rd, and jump into the mighty 340/ single exhaust, and I'm ahead of him 'some' and I look into the driver's mirror just in time to see them MAKE A LEFT TURN AND CRASH into the center divider and do a multi- turn roll. !!!! WTF??!! WHA??? THE??FFFF????

So Gary and I are saying "WTF??" and we get of the freeway in "dark city" and wander around til we get up near the freeway cut and we can see red and blue.

And we are standing there, in this residential area, looking through the freeway fence at the show going on and saying ????WTF?????

And the NEXT THING WE KNOW, had not noticed, one of the passengers had CROSSED THE WHOLE FREEWAY, CRAWLED UP THE BANK, AND THROUGH A HOLE in the fence, and he's standing over there in the dark yelling AT US.

"HEY You're the XXXXX'ers that was tryin' ta race us!!!!"

And Gary says, "hey man we weren't racing ANY BODY"

"Yeh!! YEH!!! You are the XXXXXX'ers that was RACIN US!!!!"

So we turn about and head for the car and get the F outta there

We watched the news, and never did hear if / who got hurt, and I guess nobody died.

To this day I have no idea what was up with that stupid van or why he couldn't keep it on the freeway and pretty much nowadays "average" speeds

At this point she would cuss me out. She's been in the shop for the most part of three weeks, with the exception of one day when it was pretty and clear. Since her wiper seals are leaking, I've been keeping her in the shop.

A real car never tells secrets.....

My car would beg me to finish the new motor and get it ready for spring! And please clean up my room!

Cley

My Super Bee was super jealous.

It knew when I was going on a date and usually acted up.

One time it actually caught fire under the dash just as I was pulling up to a girl's house.

Fortunately she had a '69 firebird and understood.

I'm glad mine can't talk. I'd be in a heap a trouble!

Vixen's fixin to be really pissed in the next few weeks cause I'm fixin to snatch her guts back out again. lol

If some of my cars could talk, I would have been so far under a jail that they would have to pipe fresh air & sunshine to me. LMAO

I’d cut out my car’s tongue.

they'd all tell you how careful and cautious I am, how calm and respectful I am, how I always do the speed limit and obey all traffic laws...

...what?? why are you laughing?

My car would tell the story of how during "Senior Week" in Wildwood NJ summer of 1989. My good friend Bill (now a lead engineer at the US patent office) and I decided it would be a good idea around 2 or 3 am to take my 1969 Camaro up on the boardwalk for a drive. We had been talking all week how we had never heard of anyone driving up on the boardwalk and how great it would be to do it. What could go wrong!

So up on the Wildwood boardwalk we went. Well, there are only a few streets that have car access to get on and off of the boardwalk and after driving up there for a bit and NOT finding a exit ramp, PANIC started to set in.
Bill was crapping himself because he was set to go to Penn State of a full ride and thought for sure he was losing that!
We finally found the exit and quickly took the car back to our rented (for the week) apartment.

We walked back up to the boardwalk and found hundreds of people out, including the police wondering what had happened.
The people we talked to said it sounded like an earthquake. Some said it sound like a million skateboards running down the boardwalk.
I guess driving 50 mph across those boardwalk boards makes a hell of a racket!

We walked our route the next day and sure enough, I did miss an exit ramp street and was up there longer than I anticipated.

I cut my Bee's voice box out long before 1980 rolled around...

1964 Barracuda, 4 speed, Hurst shifter, and a HP 273. Fold down rear seat, big bubble rear glass, nice stereo, what can we say. Running cross country for days on end, meals shared, 140 mph jaunts, cruising for hours at 100 mph, no AC, top speed smack downs, drag races, camping in the car at Yellowstone National Park, always cool calm and collected, ever ready to go, never a breakdown. The rest, we're not telling... What a great car.

Calipag said:

My car would tell the story of how during "Senior Week" in Wildwood NJ summer of 1989. My good friend Bill (now a lead engineer at the US patent office) and I decided it would be a good idea around 2 or 3 am to take my 1969 Camaro up on the boardwalk for a drive. We had been talking all week how we had never heard of anyone driving up on the boardwalk and how great it would be to do it. What could go wrong!

So up on the Wildwood boardwalk we went. Well, there are only a few streets that have car access to get on and off of the boardwalk and after driving up there for a bit and NOT finding a exit ramp, PANIC started to set in.
Bill was crapping himself because he was set to go to Penn State of a full ride and thought for sure he was losing that!
We finally found the exit and quickly took the car back to our rented (for the week) apartment.

We walked back up to the boardwalk and found hundreds of people out, including the police wondering what had happened.
The people we talked to said it sounded like an earthquake. Some said it sound like a million skateboards running down the boardwalk.
I guess driving 50 mph across those boardwalk boards makes a hell of a racket!

We walked our route the next day and sure enough, I did miss an exit ramp street and was up there longer than I anticipated.

View attachment 1715702022

Click to expand...

Great minds think alike. (Or at least similarly.) Somewhere in the mid 80's a few of us were staying in Wildwood. We found an early 50's Dodge sitting on the street (3 am) with the keys in it. We drove it onto the boardwalk (never any cars allowed, for those unfamiliar), turned around and parked it in the same spot, only facing the other direction. We always wondered if the owner wondered why it was turned around. "Hijack done."

67Dart273 said:

AND NOW, and incredibly annoying story from the old days

"Somewhere in the midst" of the "gas shortage" of the 70's I had a bright idea to turn my 64 Dodge 440 (body) into more of a hotrod, and turn my 440-6 RR into "more of" an economy car. This turned out to get accelerated because I'd been trapped by the CHP (San Diego, NAS Miramar at the time) ---trapped in a roadsite smog check.

So I bought a low miles junkyard 340 and stuck that into the 70RR. In order to get it in and running, I'd talked the junkyard into throwing in a set of 318 B body manifolds and "Y" piple.

So when I first got the 340 driveable, I was BROKE and it had 318 single exhaust. THE PERFORMANCE was completely driveable, but not terrible "impressive."

So:

A friend of mine and I were wandering around one night, headed eventually to his place S of San Diego in Paradise Hills, (National City.) We were stopped at this light at the throat of a 2-lane freeway entrance onto I-5S from San Diego. Gary says "you know these guys in this van?" I look over and said "no."

"Well they were sure looking YOU over"

So the light is green, we turn the corner, I accelerate some, and we get on the freeway. And here comes the van, he wants to race. This is a hippy van don't remember what. So I so I sped up some, and got ahead of him, he should have realized "this is not a race."

HERE HE COMES AGAIN!!!!

So I get into 3rd, and jump into the mighty 340/ single exhaust, and I'm ahead of him 'some' and I look into the driver's mirror just in time to see them MAKE A LEFT TURN AND CRASH into the center divider and do a multi- turn roll. !!!! WTF??!! WHA??? THE??FFFF????

So Gary and I are saying "WTF??" and we get of the freeway in "dark city" and wander around til we get up near the freeway cut and we can see red and blue.

And we are standing there, in this residential area, looking through the freeway fence at the show going on and saying ????WTF?????

And the NEXT THING WE KNOW, had not noticed, one of the passengers had CROSSED THE WHOLE FREEWAY, CRAWLED UP THE BANK, AND THROUGH A HOLE in the fence, and he's standing over there in the dark yelling AT US.

"HEY You're the XXXXX'ers that was tryin' ta race us!!!!"

And Gary says, "hey man we weren't racing ANY BODY"

"Yeh!! YEH!!! You are the XXXXXX'ers that was RACIN US!!!!"

Click to expand...

Could this Gary Have a last name that starts with a Y?

My cars don’t talk to me but when I restored the 59 Dodge Sweptside it gave up a secret, a pair of panties stuffed up the cardboard like door post liner

I turned my 72 gold duster /6 into a 340 clone thanks to working at the local speed shop. I drag raced it at Orlando Speed world. It ran 12.80s consistently.
One night I won and I was so jacked I forgot to take the shoe polish off the windows that the markings for et.
The next morning my dad jumped on me while was still asleep and beat the **** out of me. Took the keys for a month.
Another time I raced the hottest stock car around a six pack super bee which I beat by 2 cars. About 100 feet from the finish line the law turned their flashing lights on. Me and the other guy were both ticketed for racing and the 50 or so people who came to watch were arrested for illegal assembly!!
Not to be outdone— After I totaled my beautiful 71 nova I bought a 74 Capri
With the German 2.8 in it the guy I bought it from had cammed it, headers, intake Holley carb, etc. I had been to a frat party at Stetson univ and was driving home at 75 drunk as a coot.
A deputy in a hornet amc station wagon peeled out after me so I left him in the
Dust. He had called ahead on the radio and at the road block there were two city cops a highway patrolman plus another deputy. They snatched me out of the car and threw me handcuffed in the back of a patrol car. I knew I was going to jail. They had an interagency
“Bullshit session” for an hour.
The came over to the car and the let me out and said get out of here UNBELIEVABLE. This was before computers in the cars because if they had been able to see all the suspensions and high point offenses I would have have been under the jailhouse.
By the grace of God I have fallen into many deep vats of **** and come out smelling like a rose.

My 70 Challenger 340? What do you want to talk to that lying S.O.B. for?

“Blue Betsy”, as my wife calls the RR would say.....
“He’s rough on me, beats me regularly, but always treats me right. He buys me the good stuff, and keeps me so happy I could prrrrrrr!”

the other cars would say.....” what have you done for me lately”, or “Daddy who”?

Princess Valiant said:

What would it say about you and where you've been. It knows what you've done when you thought no one was watching...... oh the stories.

Especially if your mopar is like your buddy and goes with you everywhere you go lol.

Click to expand...

Oh man! This nut case rides me like a $2 ***** all the way to China and back! This guy ain’t right in the head, and it’s no small thing ether. At least the health benefits are good. Always keeping my health and strength up to snuff for the next adventure. OoOOOOoooOoooOooo I can’t wait. (Squeal!!!!!)