What's Your Best Laxitive?

Yeah, you read that right. lol I'm just curious of any of the rest of yall are like me. Not that I need a laxitive at all.....never had trouble "THERE", but here's my story. I've been like this literally as long as I can remember.

Everything will be fine. Lemmie go out in the shop to work on the car, or a project.....whatever....just "out in the shop" and BAM. I gotta ****. And I don't mean just a "mild" urge. I'm talkin bout fixin to **** all over myself unless I get to the bathroom. Don't get in my way, bitches. THAT kinda urge. It's really weird, but I've always been like that. Once that comes and goes, I'm out there for hours. All is well with the world. But I've gotten to where I just prepare myself and without fail, every time, **** happens.