What are you calling "bumping"? Lets get our redneck terminology right, ok? Do you mean electrically JUMPING the relay, as in crossing two points on it with the metal screwdriver? OR do you mean PHYSICALLY bumping it as in tapping on it with something?
Depending on exactly WHAT you mean might lead you to get an incorrect answer and it sounds like it has. I'm still unclear on exactly WHAT your damn problem IS because your description is clear as MUD.
Are you saying once the engine is hot the starter will not turn the engine from the key? Be specific instead of bump this, jump that screw this and **** that, ok?