When to give up?

Pain...it is more then physical. My end goal is, more like was, is to have a pain pump put in so I can stop taking oral Opioids. In order to be eligible for a pain pump test drive, a 3 day trial where I spend my day at the docs office with a temporary catheter implanted into my spine. 2 days I get a placebo, 1 day I get medication. I just spent (wasted?) 4 or 5 months of my life getting off of the immediate release Oxy. Plan was when I go for my July refill of the extended release crap was to have the doc lower the dosage. Go a month, if I can mange lower it again.

Well.....will spare the boring details....I had to start on the immediate release crap again last night. Hurt so bad I could not sleep. Doing all the house hold stuff causes me to bend some. Specifically the T12-L1 junction...which is where I have a pain...first noticed it after the Spinal Cord Stimulator was implanted in March or so of 2020, that appears to be muscle related. Well....I am home alone for a few days so I have to do the house hold chores...feed the dogs, the 4 cages of finches and a pair of African Greys. Birds are a mess, if the floor is not swept frequently we get ants. Hell, even making the bed and brushing my teeth causes me to bend over in the exact way that makes the pain sky rocket....anytime I have to bend over slightly I support myself with one arm.

I want the pain pump because unlike the oral meds that basically smother the pain receptors in your brain the meds are injected right into the problem areas. The dosage of the pain pump is in micro-grams not the milligrams of oral meds.

Pain clinic has told me that they would prefer to not be the doc prescribing the oral meds. My doc is talking about retirement in a year or 2. Thanks to the effing "Pain Contract" that Washington state has most doctors will not prescribe narcotics simply because of the hassle of dealing with several departments of the state.

Please spare me the chiropractor, weed, acupuncture etc. I have tried them all...

I have some mental health issues...stress is a trigger of a manic episode. Manic for me is darkness....the filter between the brain and mouth completely shuts down and some truly rotten things are said. Slipped into a manic state the other day...was not pretty. I'm concerned that my marriage may be at risk. This is the only place that I can say what it is on my mind without her reading it.....

For those that have had enough of my damn near constant whining I do apologize. I also hope that you are never put in the position I am in....these manic episodes..well...they are the reason I was removed from my employment at the USPS at the age of 42 years old. Was deemed a hazard to self and others. Just glad I had a very understanding mental health provider, by law if I make a threat against anyone he is required to notify that person, his employer etc. If Charlie had ever reported even a few of my threats I very well may have ended up in jail.

I bet that a lot of us are harder to live with than we realize. Do what is best for you and your marriage. Best of wishes to you.

No one understands another's pain till they walk in their shoes.
I pray you get relief my friend.

I've had terrible debilitating back pain before..................I was lucky to finally get rid of it. It can be pretty disheartening when you can't walk of even lay down or get out of bed by yourself. Vent all you want (sometimes it helps), I think most here will understand. Try and keep a cool head about you. Hope you're getting full social security or unemployment to help with bills?? My grandson works for FEDEX delivering packages, he's young but still comes home very tired and beat every day.

Hope you somehow find relief.

Serious Struggle. Are you fused? I have read many of your posts concerning your back issues, sorry I don't remember. I hope you and your significant other can get it sorted. A huge mountain to climb when you are in that kind of pain. Communication is difficult without px much less with the oppressive cloud it presents when intolerable. Much luck. I believe I speak for everyone when I say post away, if they don't like it, they can click on another thread. The beauty of FABO.

Stay strong.

This is sad. The pain clinic should be it here to HELP you, not hinder you. Chronic pain is a nasty *****. And what is happening is they make the people who NEED pain relief to have some normal life and function are treated like criminals and the criminals are treated like gods. It pisses me off to no end.

I don’t have an answer. We have let these doctors, most of whom have NEVER treated a patient ever make the rules. If my doctor and I think treating me with leeches would help, not one fuxxtard from the government or any other entity should have a say in it. PERIOD. I damn sure don’t want some bought and paid for politician telling me what my doctor can or can’t do.

My rheumatologist retired June 1st. It was near impossible to find another doctor who didn’t want to change my treatment plan. This new dude I see next month says he won’t change a thing but I haven’t seen him in person yet.

This country is in a bad way when people who need he;p can’t get it, and the people who don’t deserve a damn thing get everything.

It’s a shame and a world wide embarrassment. More government is NOT the answer.

So how are you doing??? And don't worry about venting!! If somebody don't like it they can simply move on to another thread.

If FABO is a place for you be be truthful and say what you need to say then keep doing it. Sometimes typing it out can be a relief in itself. It is nice to see that you recognize how hard this can be for the people near you and hopefully they can see how hard you try to manage it. I wish you the best. Vent away my friend, some of us are listening even if you don’t know it.

The answer is never give up. Easier said than done. The old adage 'each day is a gift' doesn't seem to hold up to pain and suffering.

I've dealt with pain, and yes, you are now made to feel like a criminal by wanting opioids. With my condition, if I give up my meds, I'll just die quickly, pretty simple and easy. But your condition is different, as you could linger on indefinitely. Hopefully, the pain pump is the solution.

I've tried nearly all the pain killers, even Dilaudid injected into my heart through a stent. Well that works nice temporarily, but nothing seems any good long term. The best painkiller I found overall was washing down a handful of ibuprofen with a glass of whisky, if your liver is up to it. My other suggestion, take it for what it's worth, is stop any activity that causes pain. Find something else to occupy your time that you enjoy. Curtail the onus. What about surgery?

All the best to you.

It touched me to read your story bro. I walked a little of that road when I was in my late 30s I worked in the sawmills of Oregon for about 16 years multiple back injuries. Wrapping joints multiple pulls and strains MRI,S morphine injections just to get me off the floor. I had to retire from the industry because I couldn't even play basketball with my young son anymore. But there's two part of a man his body and his spirit, the spirit being the most important for happiness in my opinion so take care of your mind get involved with positive reinforcement and I could have never done it without spiritual alignment! But it can be a complicated road and you need a good mentor, happiness comes from the heart. You can be happy I'm living proof! Just like a beautiful A body we can be restored.

I wish I knew how to help you with your situation bud,
Like you know mine was addiction, no pain to deal with after quitting except for the withdrawals, which in your case are going to be inevitable too which will seriously heighten your pain. All I can say is take it 1 step at a time. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF !
You will win, I have alot of confidence in you...watching you at the drag strip doing all that stuff, hot *** temps, with your pain shows alot of you.

Prayers sent for you to feel better, that’s a bummer and it’s been going on a long time so hopefully you get some relief...hang in there man

Maybe it's time to find a drug dealer. I am not being sarcastic. No I don't have one. "Yet."

I can't provide much help, but to have you look at EVERY prescription you are on, especially any "psych meds". My wife battled suicidal tendencies for 27 years until she was taken OFF all psych meds. She has been battling GI problems for a year and a half. Both Pepcid and another acid reflux flux affected her mentally. Back when we were young the "pill" caused massive mood swings (the doc never did believe us).

No cliche is gonna help, but I'm sure you've heard 'em all...I know my wife did...

something to ponder...
"It is up to us as single individuals to oppose the forces of our lives. I have said this to you countless times: Only a warrior can survive. A warrior knows that he is waiting and what he is waiting for: and while he waits he wants nothing and thus whatever little thing he gets is more than he can take. If he needs to eat he finds a way, because he is not hungry; if something hurts his body he finds a way to stop it, because he is not in pain. To be hungry or to be in pain means that a man is no longer a warrior; and the forces of his hunger and pain will destroy him." -Juan Matus