Stop in for a cup of coffee

I have a new Covid test kit I have designed to market.
It's a small bag of dog poop.wuth simple instructions.
1 open package and smell. If you can' smell it you most likely don't have Covid.
If you can't proceed to step two
2 remove contents from bag and eat.
If you can taste it you most likely don't have Covid.
If you can't you propaply do or you are about to get violently
Sick. Which may or may not be Covid.
Seek medical attention immediately.