A Few Lame Ones

If reincarnation is for real, I wanna come back as a bird, so I can whistle through my pecker.
True story... lead singer of a band was talking to the audience while band played a repeating lead in in the background. One could tell what song they were about to play. Anyway, he says he wants to dedicate this one for the brown-eyed girls out there. I don't want to ignore the beautiful blue-eyed girls though. You blue eyed girls make some noise! Now the lovely green-eyed girls, make some noise! Hazel-eyed girls, let me hear you! If there are any cross-eyed girls, make some noise! How about week-eyed girls? The music stopped.
The drummer asked, "What?"
The singer says, "Yeah I dated a gal with week-eyes for a while. She could stand on Wednesday and see both Sundays."
That on took some typing. I hope it was worth it.
Ever noticed how reactions to jokes changes with time? 30 years ago I would say, "9 out of 10 men who have tried Camels prefer women", And someone would respond, "Wonder what the hell that 10th guy is into?". Today.... no such response. They think to themselves, hell thats probably more like 7 out of 10.