Stop in for a cup of coffee

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.



A woman wakes up in the middle of the night to find her husband is not in bed. She goes down stairs and finds him in the kitchen sipping coffee. She asks him, "What's wrong?"

He replies, "Exactly twenty years ago we conceived our first child."

His wife starts to cry, "I can't believe you remember that."

He continues, "Yeah. You were 15 and I was 18, your dad caught us and put his shotgun against my back. He told me, 'If you don't marry her, you will rot in jail for twenty years."

A tear goes down his face, "I would have gotten out today."