Pressure to get car done

All of the things stated in the OP are-

completely the wrong attitude.

I mean if you never work on the car, that's one thing, but if you occasionally do something when you have time, or have regular time set aside, that completely negates naysayers. My "three month"- pull and paint the engine turned in to a two year- might as well blast and paint the engine compartment... and replace the freeze plugs...and blast and paint the K frame... and clean up the wiring harness...and rebuild and paint the brake booster...and replace the front brake lines...and convert to DOT 5...and.....

Working on a car can also be therapy, no matter what state it is in.
OTOH, sometimes you (or at least me) have to force yourself to either "get ONE thing done today" or "spend at least ONE HOUR on the car today".

Who cares what people at shows say? I don't even enter shows unless they are free or a small charity donation.
IMO having an old car is not about anyone else. It's about me having a cool old car. If you like it- great.

If your wife constantly questions you, perhaps you need to have a heart to heart about it.
If that fails or if she considers it an unnecessary financial burden...
I hate to say it, but you may have the wrong wife.