what dia t bars should I buy? & what shocks should I get?
The first thing you want to correct lean is an anti-sway bar. T-bars and shocks are NOT primarily about lean.
Shocks control rebound and overall ride quality.
Stiffer springs (t-bars are springs) give you a stiffer ride — this does reduce lean but it also affects ride quality, so it's a personal choice how far to go. An anti-sway bar reduces lean WITHOUT affecting ride quality (in most circumstances — exceptions include when you go over a speed bump with only one wheel).
In your case, I would proceed as follows:
1. Quality front sway bar kit — I like the Hellwig hollow bar, but there are other good ones. Addco is cheap but needs mods to work well.
2. Quality shocks – Bilstein and Koni are the best, but pricey. I find KYB is acceptable for a reasonable price.
See how you like that before upgrading t-bars, which is much more hassle. Chassis connectors and torque boxes may be a consideration after you have upgraded the entire suspension — chassis stiffness is irrelevant if the rest of the setup is a spaghetti noodle.
I should also point out that your ball joints, LCA and UCA bushings, strut rod bushings and tie rod ends should all be in good shape before you make any modifications. You could spend hundreds of dollars for no improvement if your front end is worn out.
If you have power steering I found the Borgeson steering box really improved feel, but it has nothing to do with body lean. Don't get distracted... focus on your issue.