318 Motor, please help

i adjusted the air/fuel mixture settings on the primary side (seconday doesnt have the adjustment screws) using a vacuum gauge. turned them all the way in, backed them out 1.5 turns to start and then kept making small adjustments to get the maximum reading on the gauge. are you talking about the screw on the drivers side that most people say is the "idle adjustment screw"?
That's pretty good but you can do better.
As Rick mentioned idle in neutral is not the same as idle turning the toque converter and pump.
Turn in until you notice a drop in rpm or vacuum, then turn out (richer) about 1/4 turn.

the accelerator pump is in the front on the drivers side, i watched several videos on adjusting it so that its engaging right away when the throttle moves, i believe i have it set perfect (used a feeler gauge at .014 i belive it was )
No feeler gage at idle to off idle. The pump should move as soon as the throttle moves.
The clearance check is a way to insure the spring is not fully compressed at wide open throttle and is done at wide open throttle.

ok i just went outside and hooked up the timing light. it's past the 10 on the "below" side, so im guessing roughly 12. is this bad? it idles smooth and i can stab the gas in park with no hesitation........just when i drop it into gear

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Looks like 7 or 8 BTDC to me. That would be about right for a stock '69 UNLESS the RPMs are too high.
It will take several iterations of reducing the throttle stop postion, adjusting the idle mix, and then adjusting the timing a little.
You should be able to get the timing down so it 5-8* at 750 rpm or so.
When the transmission is placed in gear, it should not drop much more than 50 rpm. (stock engine)