What the heck am I doing wrong with this '74 Valiant hood?

I would unbolt the hinge, put the hood where it needs to be with necessary gap to cowl, then measure the distance from hole to hole. Clamp each hinge in a bench vice in the long flat area between the bends using a shim to keep the vice teeth from gouging the metal, then use some pipe and heat to straighten them to match each side. If you straighten the curb side, it will also bring the drivers side out some, but it does look like the driver's side is also bent. The camera can lie. Your hinge pictures is not taken from the same angle/position over the hinge as sinister's.