Well, this definitely went off the rails. I skimmed through everything but didn't see anything that needed to be responded to, so I'll just give an update. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond to my initial post.
I spent Saturday at the salvage yard in 110 degree heat pulling a crankshaft out of a 5.9 in a 1997 Ram 1500. That was a dirty job and I probably won't do that again lol, at least not in the middle of the summer, but I got a non-cut crankshaft for $45 out of the deal at least. I grabbed the old bearings too so I could at least get an initial measurement before taking it over to my machinist. All of the main journals mic'd right within a couple of ten-thousandths of 2.81 in. and oil clearances (with the old, standard bearings) vary from 0.0025 - 0.0030 in. in my block. Every truck in that place had ~200,000 miles, but the bearings and journals look pretty clean regardless. Even if it needs to go 0.010/0.010, I'll still be in a way better position than I was I think. Going to try to drop it off at my machinist today.