Lone Ranger and Tonto

Tonto and the Lone Ranger out on the trail. At some point, the Lone Ranger had to relive himself, and a rattlesnake bit him on the end of his “crank.”

“Tonto, quick, get the field medicine book and see what we need to do!”

Tonto read the book and said, “First, tie the bitten area off with a snug, not tight, tourniquet to slow down the venom from moving. Next make small incisions on each fang mark to promote flow. The Ranger screamed in agony as this was done.”

After the incisions were made, the Lone Ranger knew the venom had to be drawn out, so he asked Tonto, “How do we get the venom out? What next? What does the book say?”

Tonto read the book, looked very sad at the Lone Ranger and said, “It says just wait…you’re going to die.”