Old is when?

Old starts
when you realize that you are the patriarch now.
Your parents are gone, and All your Uncles and Aunts are gone, and your older cousins are dying, it seems like your going to a funeral nearly every week.
Next;
every morsel of food piles on to your waist, you can't sleep, and your teeth all fell out this year.
Finally, you discover that your azzhole is starting to leak, and you're only 71...............