The important thing is an approximate 3/4 thread engagement.
@perfacar said at more that 85 ft lb of torque they were seeing block distortion. What bothers me is you were loosing torque. Maybe the ARP bolts are too long? I do know, when I ran 72 "J" 340 heads on my 273 years ago I torqued the head bolts to 95 ft lb and had no problems with Fel-Pro 340 gaskets, but I used original 340 head bolts. I think I'd run stock 273 head bolts at 85 ft lb anymore, maybe with hardened washers.