Ummm........excuse me sir, but your table is out of compliance. The first and only rule of a horizontal surface is to serve as a crap magnet. As soon as your nifty table become level with the floor, it should have induced a herd of items to sail across the room to take up residence, rendering any further project opportunities null and void. Please get with your manufacturer's representatives to get this failure corrected promptly.
Thank You,
The Management