Dealing with a negative family member…or a person who just likes to put you down

The crazy part is if everyone involved my wife and I are the only ones that actually have jobs that we have been at for 26 and 12 years respectively, full time 40 hours a week steady, and it seems they hold that against us? That we actually work? That's something I don't get.
I mean my older brother i can give a pass to, he retired after 37 years in public service and has a decent retirement but that's not excuse for the ones that took charge who in my opinion had no place to do so ..

And no, none of the problems are with who gets/got what out of the house .. my little brother and his wife are so quick to get a dumpster before my mom was even gone. They don't want anything and we're practically begging my son and I who have the trucks and trailer in the family to please haul things away and we couldn't move fast enough for their liking.....just to hurry up and get the house onto market haphazardly.
I don't like good stuff being just thrown away of its something I don't need/can't use/have 3 of already, whether I sell it or give it away it is so much better than throwing it in a dumpster. They could have told me beforehand they were gonna do this, rather than ***** at "how many hours" they have into filling that dumpster .. I agree there's a lot of stuff that that was the best place for... But what they think belongs there and what I think belongs there wasn't the same.
I watched the same thing happening across the street from me, 2 sisters that don't even live around anymore ordered a dumpster and got some church group to come over and start tossing with no room for input from their sister that still lives with and actually took care of their partners.... Nobody wants to talk anymore just "do" with no regard for anyone else that should be involved. Those that have their own personal "agenda" everyone else be Damned.