Help!!! won't start....Mechanic please!

I have to question the bump without update what you've ruled out since first post. Anyway...
You could just man up a bit and let a plug wire shock you once. Wont hurt much. LOL If you suspect the distributer is 180 degrees out it takes about 5 minutes to turn it. If you've seen sparks fly during engine R&R you may have killed fried the fusible link. This would result in dead interior, wipers, horn, etc..