my stroke has to go back to the shop, its thier fault

Sounds like you may well have a pre-load problem if the heads and deck were both milled. How much did they take off? The other possibility is they didn't get the jam nut tight on the rocker in question. All shops make mistakes from time to time. I have used all the shops in the area around here and have had things that needed corrected come out of them all. I wont run an engine someone else assembled without pulling the pan and valve covers and checking some basic clearances. If I have time I would just rather assemble it myself and measure everything as I go. In my view an inexperenced assembler who goes by the book and checks everything may well be better then a so called expert who may do this so often that they might not take the time to check everything.