Found Money!!!

Now that I have your attention, I need your help.

My "mad money" stash has grown to a point where I need to do something with it besides hiding it in a shoe box. This is money that I have obtained through side jobs, selling my ATV, and a small inheritance. It is intended to be used for the Dart, and is less than ten thousand dollars.

I need the money to be liquid enough that I can get at it if I need it, but not be penalized for early withdrawl. Savings accounts and CDs are not paying much, and a money market account isn't much better. I have thought about buying gold coins and keeping them in a safety deposit box at the bank.

What would you guys suggest I do with it? Please try and keep your answers serious. We have a forum for jokes and funny guys. Thanks for your help!