The official FABO drunk random posting thread!

So, I'm back from the bar, it's 2 AM. My mechanic's made zero progress on my car in the last week. I finally have a date with a girl I've had a crush on since high school, and one of my friends' marriages falls apart. So I get to spend my next weekend home making sure thing are okay, and not taking care of some needs that haven't been met in a long time with a girl I've had a thing for for over a decade. FML