Nobody wants to hear this when I start, but...
Having money is about working your a** off, as many hours a week as you can, doing as many different jobs as you can. Self-discipline and personal responsibility. Once you start doing it, it snowballs. My wife and I don't owe anyone, anything. Every dollar we make is ours. Use a budget, and stick to it.
Robbing a 401K is foolish. When you're older, you'll miss that $12,000 and all the interest it will have gained. After you work to save a down payment, it's the best feeling you can have.
Here's where I learned a lot:
http://beta.daveramsey.com/ I started before I heard of Dave, and adapted our plan some what with what I learned from him.