kill stories

Not a racing story per se' but very very amusing and may be a lesson to the young guys about being an idiot!
(Also from my build thread)


So anyhow, after I shamed the valiant for a while, and drove the crap out of it, neutral drops at lights, running the poor drive train up to 100 mph while on the ice just because it would, and turning it into a redneck from hell racecar ( 102" whip CB antenna included), I decided after an incedent of needing more power desperately, that it was time to swap in a V8.

Now I have to tell the story of "DESPERATELY NEEDING MORE POWER".
Ok I have told this story in anothre thread but it is a factor in the build of this car so Ill retell here. Actually I think Ill copy and paste it.

My father was getting married and so we had company for the weekend, well one of them was a kid my age, it was summer and a friend and I asked this other guy if he wanted to come hang out with us at the river. So we are all driving in the valiant down the river road, and my friend Lloyd is in the back and he picks up this bag of donuts that we had gotten the night before. These donuts looked like miniature tractor tires (you know the ones). Well being the DUMBA$$ I am, "I say gimme one of those" not so bad if it hadnt been followed by " WATCH THIS".

Well as we move down the road I get the inclination to throw it at an oncoming car (now in my miniscule lil' brain I have worked out that the car will keep on going the other way) THAWACK! POOF! all over the windshield of a fullsize chevy truck. Well, I naturally look in the rear view and to my dismay I see brake lights, then I notice the HUGE Harley decal across the back window, then I seen the side of the truck (he's turning around) then I see the grill of the truck! OHHHHHHHHH SH_____________T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I drop the 904 into the lowest gear it will catch and pin it to the floor on this winding river road. As you can imagine this isnt getting me moving very quickly, especially with 3 burnt valves. Well they catch up with us and start yelling to pull over (yeah thats gonna happen willingly). Well the first thing I noticed about these TWO guys is that they are covered in tats and look like they just got of work from there daily jobs as IRON WORKERS or something.
At this point they cut me off and I am ran towards the shoulder that has a built up dirt wall (damn nowhere to go). They are getting out of the truck meanwhile we sit praying that the good ol' slant six will fire back up. It had died when I was forced to bring the RPM's down (damn burnt valves). Well it didnt start by the time they got to the sides of the car.
So as the guy attempts to punch me while Im in the car, though I backed up enough to avoid his hits. He reaches in and grabs my WILLIE NELSON length hair and drags me toward the window and proceeds to punch the top of my head, realizing this doesnt affect my head as much as it hurts his hand he stops to grab the CRAGER SS in the back seat next to Lloyd. Meanwhile the visiting guy along for the ride takes a sucker punch through the window to the cheak.
So the guy on my side pulls the wheel from me, believe me I fought for that rim (Hey those are rare!!!!- sm bolt pat.) Then he proceeds to beat my poor little car with it. 1st the roof, then the fender, then the quarter glass, then throws it at me through the window. Well amazingly the quarter glass did not break. Though to this day the window still has a big scuff/scratch in a cresent shape.
But the door glass was hit right at the top as it was rolled down, it shattered!
I would like to say that I tried to be some big bad a$$ but I was scared sh_t less by 2 pissed off 40 year old guys, that probley just got of work and didnt feel like dealing with a bunch of dumbass kids!

To end this story I'll say this.
#1. I realize how incredibly STUPID this was, and did soon after I did it!
2. donuts are NOT projectiles!
3. Long hair makes a good handle!
4. slant 6's with 3 burnt valves CAN NOT out run a chevy 350!
5. If you dont know me too well dont "hang out" with me!
6. I find this funny now and did soon after I did it BUT, BUT, BUT, any of you younger guys that think this stuff is amusing to try, REALIZE what happened to me, and also REALIZE that people are much more volitile than they used to be! And that was only about 10 years ago! I just dont want to see anyone getting any dumb Ideas from this.
DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Hope you all find this as amusing as I do!
PS I still have a dent in the roof from the wheel and recently replaced the window again (1st replacement was misaligned and broke).