Smoking

Wow, a member asks for help and gets a rant on homosexuals.

Re: a spouse's smoking, if she sees it as a control issue, i.e. something you want her to do, she will continue to resist quitting. When she decides she wants to quit for herself, she will quit.

All you can do is sit down with her and have a real heart to heart. First tell her how much you love her UNCONDITIONALLY and what a wonderful wife, friend and person she is. How much she means to your children and grandchildren if you have any. Let her know how sad you would be to see her suffer and to live without her. Tell her she deserves better. Mention that she can talk to her doctor about different methods. Tell her exactly how you feel from your heart.

Then let it go. Do not show any more disapproval about it. Only talk about her smoking if she brings it up.

There is a good chance she is thinking of quitting anyway. But it is something she must do on her own terms. If she doesn't succeed at first, be supportive and remind her it takes more than one attempt for some people to quit.

Good luck, I guarantee if she ends up quitting, you will be a hero for being such an understanding husband. Even if she never quits, you will still be a hero for accepting something about her that she wasn't able to change.