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A telephone conversation between a mother and her son: Hi Mom. Hi Son, where are you? In jail. What happened? I thought you and Dad were going to Home Depot. We did, but I got arrested. What did you get arrested for? I punched a black woman. WHAT?....Why? Well, I guess it was my fault. I...

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles -- something she loved to do. As he was thoroughly enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that to me?" "Because, she smiled"...."I miss mine"...

I think I pee'd myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zdDfQrPi5Q&feature=player_embedded#