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Sorry, I never carry a cell phone and no pictures. About three years ago one spring, a pair of Mockingbirds show up. Build the nest. Hatch some bird eggs. Of course, mama bird is protective if a cat comes near. Does the usual swoop down at the cat. Always just the same barn cat, we have...

Houston has gone from shut down to opening bars, beaches, gyms, partially opening everything, and yes the thousands upon thousands of mourners and protesters of the Floyd death were welcomed by the liberal city, so the Covid19 deal is skyrocketing,,.. BUT no one gives any blame the protests...

Small town rural ish Texas. The owner listed his liquor store with the wife's r/e business way back months ago with an idiot price and would never give any profit/loss figures except some BS scribbled on a napkin! No one comes to look at it, no doubt, and today he calls her and says just...

So we have to leave tomorrow on a 6 hr trip to Corpus Christi to pickup 3 Boer goats. I pull up mapquest for their route as her "country" route makes me dizzy pulling a triler and I ain't getting on a Texas Intereste on thos holiday. No I ain't driving 3 hrs out of the way to stop at Buc...

Sorry guys, I guess I have been away for a few months. I just now came to got my senses back. Seems someone feed me some really bad dope, the stuff people on CL use. While under the influence, I priced my slant duster I feel I worth maybe $3500 at $30,000, my 62 Lancer that I figure would...

US Government makes study as to why the male ***** has a head larger than its shaft. Cost was $160,000 and took two years. Conclusion, was so the male derived more pleasure. France is not convinced, do their own study. Cost $300,000 and takes 3 years. Conclusion is that it gives the woman...

guy on CL has 79 Volare, yes the very first year for Mopar Electronic Ignition, and YES it was designed by NASSAR, just up his road at Huntville, Al. When I lived in Ga. were swore you could take the Eastern half of Al. and move those folk into Western half of Ga. and raise the IQ of...

O K so the church group is against the "trans gender folks". the trans gender folks want to use their "new" choosen restroom. otherwise, its descrimination, they claim like civil rights days stuff..... I really have something of a hard time...

just married, on their honeymoon. wife say, " sugar, why don't you sell that old car, we could use that for a vacation this summer?" car guy, " honey, that's sounds just like something my X WIFE would say>" wife says, " HEY, I thought you had NEVER...

I got drunk last night and did my own taxes....... yep! i'm getting back 4.3 million $$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!! ya hooooooooo

lady sees this old cowboy, on his horse working cattle....... tells him HE is a dying breed.... he says no mame..... you just can't see us from the ROAD!???????

hillbilly had 11 kids, decided enough. goes to his Missouri doc, tells him there is a cure, called a V'secomy. tells him to put a lite cheery bomb in beer can, hold next to your ear, just count to 10. hillbilly figures HUH, maybe should get a second...

reorted our revered Pres. has decided to open a new business for his retirement. SOoooooooooooooo most everyone thought his trip to Cuba to be just political stuff, ya know, lining up place to send free corn, we buy some high end cigars...

I really need people to stop wanting to buy my little dog. emails, phone calls, telegrams...... NO he is nopt for sale at any price! sorry..... I realize he has caused lot of people to want to own him. I guess he is somewhat famous. he has...

the young hooker goes to her doctor fearing pregnancy. doc confirms the reason for morning sickness , and asks " do you know who the father is?" hooker replies" YOU dumbass, if you ate a whole can of beans would YOU know which bean gave you the...

this did not make the national news as it did not take place back East, the West Coast, or Texas. small town in rural Missouri, in recent weeks, three incidents where the local police (dept. of 2) had reported incidents where 3 citizens (all white folk) have...

what is really Victoria's secret???????????????? I think she really wants a thick, juicy burger??

I come in the house just in time to catch the local 5 p m news. Ellen was just about to go off air. she had a clip from home video of high school jr. boy and his family.... that got to take his "boyfriend" to the prom. of course Ellen was so...

one the plane there sat a 7 years old next to the man in the business suit. the little boy obviously wanted some conversation, so the man says, what would you like to discuss? maybe nucleur fission???? the little boys says, maybe we talk about animal...

Mom's in town and stops in unexpectedly to visit the daughter-in-law. knocks on door.. no answer.... walks on in. smell of perfume, music on, rose pedals all over the floor.. there lying on the sofa is son's wife.. completely naked! she explains, she's wearing...

CUBAN craigslist read for sale,, 1966 hemi GTX, been sitting in tobacco barn last 2 decades. has slight odor of cigar tobacco. few tobacco stains on otherwise perfect paint. $20,000 or might trade for new Dodge Dart. delivery available for extra cost. ( ocean...

the husband is at the club, cell phone on bench in the locker room rings, he picks it up, puts it on speaker, and answers. yes dear..... woman: dear, i'm at the store and they have this wonderful fur coat. costs $2000. I just simply love it. husband: if...

husband leaves wife this note: Dear, as you know i'm 54 yrs old, and have needs you cannot meet. since we have had a wonderful marriage these last 30 years, I leave you this note in respect to you: " tonight , I will meet my 18 year old secretary at Comfort...

going down the highway was an old mopar with 5 little old ladies inside. cop's radar detected them going 22 mph. pulls them over for going too slow. he walked up to the B5 blue 66 dart, inside he notices 4 of them...

the company announces the upcoming christmas party. dinner, open bar with alcoholic and non available, draw names for gifts not to cost more than $10. Ann is in charge. it is brought up Christmas can fall on the same dates as that other...

I was in Costco other day waiting in line with a BIG bag of dogfood. lady behinds me asks if I have a dog. I tell her no. truth was I lost 50 pounds eating this stuff. I put some in my pockets and when I feel hungry I eat a few pieces...

our last trip together......... crusing down I44 in my cool 69 runner. it was 1983 as I recall..... pulled over by Missouri's fi nest highway patrol..... " what's the matter officer?'" " you were speeding, sir>" that's a $50 fine...

Missouri wind blew the other day at 40-50 mph. woman in house 20 yds away, T V going, wind howlin, dog barking.... she can't hear poop. after screaming at top of my lungs "heeelllllppppppp!!!!" for how many minutes????? she finaly ambles out to shed where i been workin on...