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One day a man was walking down the beach and came upon an old lamp. Remembering the stories of how these lamps contain genies, he began to rub it and out popped a genie. The genie, looking annoyed, said "you are the fifth person this month to awaken me and I am tired of granting wishes. I am...

Three men went to a motel. The man behind the desk said the room is $30, so each man put up $10 each and went to the room. A little while later he realized the room was only $25, so he sent the bellhop back to the three guys room with $5. On the way to the room the bellhop couldn't figure how to...

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?' The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing...

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. One day, the teacher brought in a great variety of...

Early one morning during the Presidential Campaign, John McCain heard a knock on his front door. He opened the door to find a high-school-age girl wearing a "Vote for McCain" t-shirt. "I saw you on TV last night, debating with the other candidates," she said. McCain nodded. "The other...

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. 'Billy.' 'And what is your question, Billy? 'I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owvO640ODwA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jOFf_KB3lI

Who is Jack Schitt? The Lineage Revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of...

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’'ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go...

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice over the line...

What's a 710? A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What's a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I...

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the...

Trunk money...available at your nearest Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep dealership. :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8avOiTUcD4Y

Hurry in for our special synthetic lube service! :cheers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIEHbD2mWIA&feature=related Now this is what I call fine service! :toothy10: