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  1. Mark Wainwright

    Too nice not to pass on

    Something to think about
  2. Mark Wainwright

    My Childhood

  3. Mark Wainwright

    Mommy Mommy jokes

    Mommy Mommy can I go play with grandma. No dear you've already dug her up twice this week
  4. Mark Wainwright

    BBQ RULES:

    We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad...
  5. Mark Wainwright

    Jeff Gordon Fires Entire Pit Crew

    Jeff Gordon Fires Pit Crew Raleigh, NC Jeff Gordon announced today he has fired his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of Newt Gingrich's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters. The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how...
  6. Mark Wainwright

    My Luck

    What happened to the My Luck Site?
  7. Mark Wainwright

    How old are you?

    Heavens to Mergatroyd! The other day a not-so-elderly (I say 75) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy; and he looked at her and said, "What the heck is a Jalopy?" He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old ...But not that old. Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory...
  8. Mark Wainwright

    Twas the night before Christmas

    Twas the night before Christmas and I was so bored, There wasn’t even a trace of a Chevy or a Ford. The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit, So I figured I’d mess with my Fish for a bit. I popped the release and I lifted the hood, When a deep voice behind me said “that looks...
  9. Mark Wainwright

    My Colonoscopy

    ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald. Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon, a...
  10. Mark Wainwright

    Anything happen while I was away?

    So a gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their way to his home. "So, has anything happened while I've been away?" "No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning." "Come now, I've...
  11. Mark Wainwright

    MAN RULES

    AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.) WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE THESE ARE OUR RULES! PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE...
  12. Mark Wainwright

    Making a baby

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive , Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door...
  13. Mark Wainwright

    Henry Ford and Air Conditioning

    The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner. Who knew? Here's a few little known facts for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On...
  14. Mark Wainwright

    Funny Car Acronyms

    I'm sure we can add a few more Ready GO!!!
  15. Mark Wainwright

    Old Butch

    Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his...
  16. Mark Wainwright

    THE Pulitzer COLONOSCOPY

    Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through...
  17. Mark Wainwright

    Early sex education in the U.K.

    This is an actual extract from a sex education textbook for girls, printed in the early 1960's in the UK. As far as we have come, we have so far to go!! “When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your...
  18. Mark Wainwright

    Mary and Paddy

    Hahaha. Not Being Used Mary came home early and found her husband, Paddy, in their bedroom makinglove to a very attractive young woman: And she was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" She cried. "How dare you do this to me? A faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving...
  19. Mark Wainwright

    A few groaners

    I once dated a girl with a twin and people always asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Alison painted her nails red, and Bob had a beard. Pro Tip #22: Ring your own doorbell on your way to bed. This will clear the dogs off the bed. I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting...
  20. Mark Wainwright

    Learning to cuss

    A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss". The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say...
  21. Mark Wainwright

    Something to make you think

    You can't blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway... It's your own asphalt. I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness. I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire...
  22. Mark Wainwright

    Are you a 1%er

    This special group was born between 1930 & 1946 = a 16 year span. In 2022, their age range is between 76 and 92. Interesting Facts: You are the smallest group of children born since the early 1900's. You are the last generation, climbing out of the depression, who can remember the winds of...
  23. Mark Wainwright

    A dog named Sex

    Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs. That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot. But, have you heard the plight of the bloke who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex? It goes like this: "One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I...
  24. Mark Wainwright

    Rednecks

  25. Mark Wainwright

    Onestone

    There once was a Indian who had only one ******** and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got...
  26. Mark Wainwright

    Let's Have Some Fun ...... She was only

    She was only a goaltender's daughter but everyone was into her crease. She was only a moonshiner's daughter but I loved her still She was only a fisherman's daughter but she'd lay on her back and say filet your turn
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