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I'm my house, we refer to it as "butt thunder" rather than fart. Sometimes a cute name for what a spouse considers a less than good trait helps soften it effects, smells not included

It was -2 this morning when we went out to breakfast. I have a plan....I'm going to fill up the Dart and drive around town. That should make enough global warming to get it into the 0's

When I was 22, I had a security check. The guy interviewing was amazed that I had accumulated 17 tickets. I explained it away by saying 3 of them were for illegal left turns and 10 for illegal parking....when cruising Whittier Blvd. Man, I miss those days. I even got taken to jail for curfew...

Heck, if I had seen the meteor first hand...I would thought it's a nuke. It would have been embarrassing if anyone had seen me kissing my own butt gooddbye

That would be a way to get out of a speeding or exhibition of speed ticket....your hopnor, how could I smoke the tires with a blue motor????