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Wife bought me a Snap-on toolbox.

Will you still feed me? when I'm 64? Must have been about 10 yrs old when first heard that song. I'll have the answers to those questions tomorrow. All signs point to yes LOL

I have forgotten who was the dumb blonde who thought Chicken Of the Sea was in fact chicken. I guess forgetting comes with time, old age, both. So if I live long enough I will forget who was the dumb blonde who thought microwave ovens could become cameras.

If you're going to steal a nice suitcase off the sidewalk, please toss the contents in a good solid dumpster. It might be a bomb! LOL I suppose the terrorists will learn to use ratty old suitcases. Either way... To feck around with a unattended suitcase is super ignorant.

I'm thinking T-shirts that say Official Heathcare.gov Beta Tester would sell. :)

I wont post a link here every morning. Look for yourself if you like. http://www.thebigshow.com/video_day/videoNew.php

As if I needed another reason to NOT watch that show. He doesn't have time for The Boy Scouts Of America but he will appear on The View ?

What a lousy summer we're having. Am I right ? I should have went to the beach with my friends. Scooping up tar balls could be fun... Snowballs are lots of fun. I'm looking ahead to better days though.. staying busy working on my haloween costume. I already had a ugly dark suit. Found a...

One point in Fords sales pitch is "Spacious side panels for your company logo and advertising". With all of the technological advances like variable displacement , heated leather seats, etc.. that have been used to promote sales in recent years, The body panel promo seems very retro to me...

Lightening storm moving into Augusta today.

http://www.style-your-garage.com/

This could have been a rant if I hadn't found it so funny... My wife mail ordered this fancy new brownie pan. It is advertised as non-stick, includes divider, yada yada. The greatest thing since the snuggie ? Anyway, The instuctions included say line the pan with aluminum foil, spray non-stick...

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied...

Judge ; So how did you get to where you are today ? Contestant ; Well, first I got really good at playing Guitar Hero and thought about getting a real guitar. Then I got good at Grand Theft Auto and started beating up hookers.

Job applicant; I'll need January 8th off to observe the kings birthday. Interviewer: January 8th isn't Matin Luther Kings birthday. Job applicant; Not M.L.K. , . . . . . ELVIS !

Heard this one from Leno last night... Complimenting a Christmas tree is same as complimenting a womans chest.. When real you say, "looks artificial" and when artificial you say "looks real"

Dont let this happen to yours...

One you could share... Three moles scurry along through an underground tunnel. Papa mole, out front says, "I think I smell sugar cane." Mama mole sniffs and says, "No I believe thats maple syrup we smell." Baby mole following behind says, "Smells like molasses back here."

How I Lost My Fortune In The Stock Market In spring of 2004 I happened to read a magazine article which stated, "The consumption of Viagra tablets has escilated to one every six seconds world wide." Being astonished by the potential profit therein, and having previously heard their are 7...

So a young male employee who is also a newlywed approaches the supervisor.. "Sir I need to clock out and run home. I can be back in about an hour." The bossman thinks a bit then smiles, "Ahhh the urgent emergancy. I remeber those days. Great song too. You're going to rip the wifes panties down...

What are neighbors for... Right ? Neighbor called late yesterday and asked, "Can you go on line and find me some drive wheels for a grave digger ?" I'm like UGGhhh "How many have you burried over there neighbor ?" I knew he was on about his grandsons and Power Wheels. So the wheels are...

With April 1st approching I thought I'd post a reminder. All sorts of "Do it yourself" things can be found on the internet from fake nail polish spill to a kitty litter box cake. Have fun :)

so I went for a physical couple weeks ago. Doc says I REALLY need to quit smoking. I says yeah I know but seems like the more I hear about 'no smoking' the more defiant I become. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Society has taken all the homosexuals out of the closet and put the...

This thing takes a while to load (slow pour). Guys type your name in the first box and wifes name in second box. Nothing else needed, just click visualizer. Cheers :) http://www.tatuagemdaboa.com.br/

Wife was telling me about a doctor who apeared on Oprah. He stated that for every 20 pounds of fat a man looses he gains a half inch of *****. If that is true,,, shouldn't a stick man be drawn like this ?

We did http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1265852291

125 thousand Butterball Turkeys have been recalled. Seems they for got to butter the balls.

Years ago when Michael Jacksons' "Thriller" video was released, I got an idea... Gather with friends and relatives to practice and learn that Zombie Dance routine from the video. We had a lot of fun doing so. Just as fall begins and Haloween approaches another idea... We'll arrive...

During the 5 years I spent in a particular chat room this has to be my favorite memory so I thought I'd share it. I had ran across an interesting fact and decided to make it a trivia question <ME> What actor has the most action figure toys modeled in his likeness ? <USER> Ron Jeremy The...