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One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan...

A passenger plane traveling to California is suddenly hit with a severe engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean. The impact is such that the plane is ripped apart leaving only one man alive. After hours of swimming he spies an island and drags himself up onto the sandy shores...

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants...

Couldnt resist

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We...

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The young clerk...

There was a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. ... Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?' Some women answered today, some...

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions.... Officer: What's 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm... 4! Officer: What's the square root of 100? Blonde: Ummmm... 10! ... Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln? Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno...

2013 Hyundai Santa Fe | Big Game Ad | "Team" (Extended) - YouTube

You are te wind beneth my wings.

Gotta love Walter!

Well he does his best.

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Tylden fire station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.The wagon was being pulled by her...

Funny

The farmers are feeding there chickens ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs. What a great day to go out to the parking lot, jump into your car, and roast marshmallows. I turned on the lawn sprinkler. All I got was steam. You know it's hot when you can feel the breeze but you...

For those going through this heat wave..

In my line of work EAA Airventure is the worlds largest air show. Last year I attended and as always someone crashes. This is not ment to be a funny or a joke.. But some good footage of the crash.

YouTube - ‪Bud Light Lime "In The Can",...Banned Commercial‬‏

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was...

Clyde died in a fireand was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for. Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him...

He said.. I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said. You wear briefs, don’t you He said.. Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said.. Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. She said.. What do you...

It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter. The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife ended up on a flight the day after her husband. The husband made it down to...