three old galls

[memike]

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.

She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don’t know. I’ll come up and see."

She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters.

She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door." :salute:

 

[memike]

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,
"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest
arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week." :tongue9:

 

[memike]

Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough they were.

The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times." And with that he slams another shot.

The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut them up and snort them just for the fun of it."

And with that he slams another shot.

The third mouse slams a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"

The third mouse stops and replies,
"I'm going home to f_ck the cat!" :thumbup: :tongue9:

 

[340dartswinger]

HAHAHA those were all good laughs mike!!

 

[dartcuda]

thanks for a good morning laugh.