Who has kids/grand kids with ADHD?

General Discussion

  1. inkjunkie

    inkjunkie Well-Known Member

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    For whatever the reason my step daughter stopped speaking with me several years back. When I asked my wife what was going on that she did so I was told that her kids are her problem not mine and that I need to mind my own business. So I respected her wishes.

    Few days back my wife told me that her daughter, who has 4 boys, pretty sure they are 2 sets of twins is having a problem. The older twins have been acting up in school. Stopped studying. They have become unruly and are starting trouble. She had a rough pregnancy with these two boys. For the longest time there was a fear of them having a developmental issue. Don't remember the specifics but they were very slow in learning to walk, talk. When they did talk they would only talk with each other. They would very rarely talk with either of the moms (Wifes daughter is a Lesbian).

    Fast forward to a few days ago, Ernie mentioned that the twins are having trouble. They were at a doctors office where ADHD was mentioned. When I was seeing my shrink in AZ he asked if I had ever been tested/diagnosed for ADHD. He told me that the thinking, at the current time, was that children with ADHD often end up being Bi-polar adults.

    So, my question to any members whose children/grand children had ADHD as a child...what happened when they grew up? Any mental health issues?

    My shrink back then told me that there was a reason children were never diagnosed with Bi-polar, had something to with what was accepted by the folks who wrote the DSM or whatever that book is called.

    Apologies for rambling, been a rough few days and I am in a bit of a fog...

    Thanks for any and all thoughts/comments.
     
  2. pauly

    pauly MOPAR or no car! FABO Gold Member

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    Not sure how old they are, but they say if you double their age, it’s pretty close to their attention span. I have a 6 year old son and 12 minutes is about right!! If you look back in time, boys were educated until they were able to learn a trade and do useful work. So, around eighth grade, the boys started learning their dad or other relative’s trade. That changed probably in the late 30’s or 40’s.

    Boys were never designed to sit still in a classroom for hours on end. We get bored! We’re workers and want to get things done. Unfortunately, today’s society says to medicate them to calm them down, which it does, but it also kills their spirit. What they need is more breaks for the reasons I listed above. They need to burn off their pent-up energy. I would guess my son would act in a similar manner if he was in an “institutionalized” school system. When he gets cranky, he goes outside and runs around or rides his bike-not an option in the public school system.

    We decided to home school our kids and it’s the best decision we’ve ever made. We take breaks as needed and it works great. We don’t take snow days off-we take the nice days off!!
     
  3. diymirage

    diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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    There is no connection between ADHD in youths and bipolarism in adults
    (The two reside in completely different parts of the brain)

    Boys with ADHD will often grow up into adults with hyperactivity
     
  4. mbaird

    mbaird mbaird

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    My kids have a dad with ADHD !
     
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    • Ron816

      Ron816 Well-Known Member

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      Suddenly every pain in the ass kid is diagnosed with ADHD.
       
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      • 68gtxman

        68gtxman I used to reMember

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        @inkjunkie My nephew had it before they even knew what it was. He’s in his 30s now and is a fully functioning adult. He has a degree in electrical engineering and was a helo pilot in the marines for a bit.

        His mom was a nurse and she knew that there was something seriously wrong with his attention span. He was doing poorly in grade school and misbehaved often. His mom read every book she could find about similar problems with kids and potential treatments. She tried many of them, but only one worked. That was playing classical music while he sat still and did his homework. The tempo of the music got into his head and his thinking became much more focused over time, until he could sit still long enough to finish his homework every day. His grades picked up and his behavior improved as he became happier with himself and he learned to be proud over his accomplishments. His process took just under two years, but he eventually learned to play the music in head without the stereo playing and he completely overcame all of his issues.

        I’m not saying this is a miracle cure for every kid with the disorder, but it doesn’t cost anything to try it.

        God bless!
         
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        • vntned

          vntned Well-Known Member

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          Not bashing people's life choices, or who they marry. However, statistically speaking, the majority of young men who end up in trouble with the law do not have a father figure or strong male role model.

          A father, grandfather, uncle, any male role model to show a boy how he is to act and behave. To provide him with a understanding of how to be a good man. How to be respectful, strong, and dependable. To teach him how to use that energy in a productive way. To learn to build and create. To help others as well as themselves.

          Women are amazing at teaching love, compassion, and many other things that men usually arent. They are as important to any child's upbringing as a father figure. The father however can often understand and identify with a boy better than his mother.

          I have a son and a daughter. I try and teach them both how to be strong and reliable. However, there is something in a boy, especially when he hits those teenage years, that drives them to be more aggressive. Without an outlet to focus this on, boys often become unruly and resistant.

          As far as the ADHD diagnosis goes, those are handed out way to freely. Children will be children. That's what parents are for, to correct them and guide them to success.
           
          Last edited: Mar 27, 2021
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          • mycuda

            mycuda FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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            Agree with above.
            Married my wife 30 years ago with4 year old boy.
            First thing I told her was if we are going to be together, this is how we eliminate the so easy diagnosis of Adhd.
            First. Discipline. Single parents are easily
            Talked into this.
            I said throw that ridilin in the garbage.
            There's nothing wrong with this kid.
            He needs structure,positive attention and
            Goals and rewards. Starts there.
            It is never easy. But the outcome is well worth it.That was 30 years ago.
            He's a normal contributor to society and is now able to live without mommy and daddy.
            No drugs can replace parenthood
             
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            • Mike69cuda

              Mike69cuda 66 is the new 17 FABO Gold Member

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              We have had two kids with add/ adhd. It is a real struggle. One adopted, one bio. Both were very different, but both responded well to meds. There is no such thing as a 100% solution, but we have done reasonably well. The doctors and the meds are very trial and error. You need to find a good doctor in your area that are experienced at treatment.
               
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              • mycuda

                mycuda FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                But I will add this to my previous post.
                There is a time frame involved.
                If my stepson was 10-13 ,years of age,when I met him,
                Total different story.
                Longer it goes without structure.
                Much harder it is to amend.
                 
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                • SLOPAR72

                  SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                  Perfect. I was too smart for my own good as a youth and it actually made me seem like a failure in school. It was recognized until my last SOL and I beat the brakes off the test. The system and everyone realized they never connected the dots. I wouldn't change my life now and I have done OK for myself. Life is different now but if I had a kid who was diagnosed the recipe above looks good to me.

                  But I am not the parent and was the kid in the deal. I wasn't challenged enough when young to exploit the potential of how to make someone with it very successful in life. ADHD kids are typically wicked smart.....

                  JW
                   
                • 69FBCuda

                  69FBCuda I'm so confused! FABO Gold Member

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                  Everyone, it's the new norm!
                   
                • dirty white boy

                  dirty white boy 50 yr old Juvenal delinquent

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                  my son was born with a small chromasome deletion, one of the #10 pair is missing a few digets outta the middle of it, only human ever seen missing out the middle, every other one known missing from end or hole chromsome, not that any dr has yet to tell us what effects this might have! this has caused some learning disorders and he's been in special ed class's all his life even tho he is no wheres effected as much as the other kids in this class! his mother and teachers couldnt wait till he reached 5 years of age to get a dr to label him adhd witch thay did! he is 17 now and labeled intellectually disabled, school gets money, ex gets disability check, and he hangs out with me 28 days outta 30! he quit the adhd meds when the riddlin made his blood pressure go way up 2 years ago and he is way more focused now, still a short attention span but still 10000 times better than when on the meds! now my daughter thats 15 just dropped outta early collage class's cause she already knows it all!! ex redheads and kids teach us just how lil control we have in life....god bless the kids growing up in these crazy times
                   
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                  • Mike69cuda

                    Mike69cuda 66 is the new 17 FABO Gold Member

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                    One of the hardest things your daughter will have to face with ADD kids is other people’s opinions. Many will tell her directly or insinuate that the problem is really her parenting. This includes family, friends, and many other well meaning and not so well meaning people. Most have no experience with ADD or mental health in general. There is a fair amount of that on this thread, I would suspect. This is a horrible burden to inflict on someone who is likely already sinking.

                    With what we know today, to suggest that ADD / ADHD / OCD and other mental illnesses are just a function of parenting is pretty simplistic. People who have fixed their problems with discipline and structure, haven’t been there. Certainly not for the problem cases. People who haven’t been there don’t understand how it really is.

                    Sure there are a lot of cases where parenting is an issue. That diagnosis, however, is best left to a trained professional. There are many support groups and resources nation wide.

                    The best thing you can do for you daughter is to support her and help her find solutions.
                     
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                    • SLOPAR72

                      SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                      That a funny thing to say.... Now that I have been around the human race long enough everyone I have ever met has atleast one chip on the ol' pinion gear.

                      Here is my deal with it. I am glad there was never a fix in a pill bottle for me personally. I have seen the inner workings of medicine and when is the last time you have heard of someone in the ranks working for big Pharma living on the streets and driving a Corolla?

                      Kids with ADHD have the potential to be great contributors to society and move mountains. Don't let this become some crutch in life. In fact, it can be completely opposite and they can do big things in life.... I am just not a fan of medicine for it.

                      I will add that it's good to see the topic brought up where people weren't chiming in to beat the kid daily because that my friends is exactly how you can turn the child into an animal.... Fact!

                      JW
                       
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                      • barbee6043

                        barbee6043 barbee 6043 FABO Gold Member

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                        I a kid bucks square bale all summer, any and all disorders will go completely away!
                        Kids,overfed and under worked. Most adults also!
                        OK, so I am a tough old fool.
                         
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                        • SLOPAR72

                          SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                          There it is..... Extreme amounts of energy to burn. The parents have to accept it and accept what has to be done in order for things to fire on all cylinders.... Step one. BTW- this is how I see it as an adult now. Recipes vary......

                          JW
                           
                        • 69FBCuda

                          69FBCuda I'm so confused! FABO Gold Member

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                          Kept my boy and girl in sports from kinder to collage and never had an issue, don't get me wrong they ran 200mph for 16 hr days but focus was not an issue.
                           
                        • SLOPAR72

                          SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                          You burnt the crazy energy out of them..... It means you figured it out. Good for you....

                          JW
                           
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                          • K.O. SWINGER

                            K.O. SWINGER Meeting in the alley since 1976

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                            First let me start by saying I feel for you I have had times Of disconnect with my children that has given me many sleepless nights. There's so many things that could be said on this subject, but I do agree with previous posts removing a good strong male role model from a boy's life is a recipe for disaster. Luckily after my kids went through their judgmental phase they all came back around and things are pretty darn good now they're in their late 20s and early 30s. Sometimes things just get bigger than us and I'm a firm believer in prayer and miracles I wish you the very best.
                             
                          • SLOPAR72

                            SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                            I could go on a whole bunch more about it... My point is it's just another thing in life... But it's real. You gotta harness that energy and put it in the right direction. And don't ever give up on kids who have it. One day it can all make sense and those kids who have it can have wonderful lives....

                            JW
                             
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                            • K.O. SWINGER

                              K.O. SWINGER Meeting in the alley since 1976

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                              I agree completely, and I've seen it from both a parenting / grandparenting / and my own experience one who struggled in school immensely whose father deserted him at 3 and was physically abused. But my grandfather was a great role model and after all the messed up roads that I traveled I came out the other end, I feel very blessed.but unfortunately if you continue to put the same broken ingredients in a bowl no matter how you stir it it comes out s*** cake. public school did not work for me and they basically just said you need to find something else for your kid and I fell through the cracks. But I enrolled in trade school where it all clicked, myself and a bunch of Vietnam vets who became my older brothers. So it's important to find a connection and a direction in which they can feel fulfilled and feel success.
                               
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                              • barbee6043

                                barbee6043 barbee 6043 FABO Gold Member

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                                ^^^^ I agree with all you say. Especially the part that we or kids or any human, must find a direction in life, something that that they connect to because it is in their genes. Everyone needs to feel the power of success and being able to "do" something meaningful to themselves, not necessarily public opinion.
                                 
                              • SLOPAR72

                                SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                                Exactly. Slip through the cracks. That sums it up. I had a woman who worked for me in my biz that was extremely intelligent. Well beyond the average person. ADHD on steroids. In her case they thought her life would be fixed with medicine and it just fed her addictive side and unfortunately Alcohol consumed her and she is now gone. A true dish with the heart of a lion and energy of the Sun. But nobody figured it out. That one will go with me to the grave. It takes all kinds to make the world go round...... But a different way to have handled her in an early life I feel would still have her with us today....

                                JW
                                 
                              • barbee6043

                                barbee6043 barbee 6043 FABO Gold Member

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                                Doctors. They say, better living thru chemistry! NOT really is always the answer!
                                 
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