12 Dad jokes

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ok.....1. what do you get when you cross a pine cone and a polar bear? a fur tree. 2. why is history a sweet subject? because it has a lot of dates.
 
today's entries......1. why does poop never win the race? because it's always number two. 2. did you hear about the underwater snooker player? he was a pool shark.
 
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.
Together, I can beat schizophrenia.
“DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things to read in braille.
If there’s one thing that makes me throw up, it’s a dart board on a ceiling.
It’s quite ironic that “strap on”, backwards, spells ‘no parts’.
The word “misread” can be misread as “misread”.
 
1. what do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you? pick them up and roll them back to her. 2. knock, knock. who's there? spell. spell who? w-h-o.
 
Squirrels are remarkable animals.
In fact, they are the only animals in the world that can run up a tree with their nuts in their mouth...
 
and....1. knock, knock. who's there? a herd. a herd who? a herd you were home so i came over. 2. what happened to the plant in the math class? it grew square roots.
 
happy friday ....1. why couldn't the pirate play cards? because he was sitting on the deck. 2.why do melons have weddings? because they cantaloupe.
 
moving on....1. what's an astronaut's favorite part of the keyboard? the space bar. 2. how did the basketball get wet? the players were dribbling with it.
 
1. the easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast. 2. what happened when a faucet, a tomato, and some lettuce ran a race together? the lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running. and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
 
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