Adult Riddles

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Xstream_1

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy. -

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!


Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration..

Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
 
What food diminishes a womans sex drive?

Wedding cake.



Chuck

That's why all of them save a piece of it and put it in the freezer.That way they can nibble on it every now and then. So everyone go to the freezer, find that cake, and destroy it now!
 
why do men want women to wear white at theyre wedding? so their dishwasher matches their refrigerator
 
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

So true!!!

why do men want women to wear white at their wedding?

so their dishwasher matches their refrigerator

You do like to live dangerously, don't you? (it was good, though)
 
aahahaha i told half of these to my girlfriend.. she goes "...where are you hearing this?"

"..mopar club..."
 
What's the difference between northern girls and southern girls? The northern girls say " yes, you can" and the southern girls say "yes, ya'll can"
 
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!


thise were good ones. But I liked this one the best....lol
 
That's what I like about Amy. She get's right to the point, no pun intended.

Here's a precious moment from our reception on our wedding day.

That's a knife she's holding to my throat....


WeddedBliss-vi.jpg


WeddedBliss-vi.jpg


WeddedBliss-vi.jpg
 
why do women have smaller feet? so they can get closer to the kitchen sink
 
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