Brothel

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mopar!!!

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The Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified,well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties early fifties.
"May I help you sir?" she asked.
The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you
Would prefer someone else", said the madam.
He replied,
"No, I must see Valerie." Just then, Valerie appeared and
Announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.
Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."
Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again.
Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?"
The man replied, " Nova Scotia ."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Nova Scotia ."
"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."


The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!
 
Know how to tell when it's really cold? The lawyers have their hands in their OWN pockets

A large airplane going to a lawyer's convention crashed killing everyone on board. A news man asked a witness what they thought of that?

The witness replied "I think it's a hell of a good start!!"

A professor was visiting a large testing lab, and noticed a group of people sitting in a room by themselves. He asked who they were. "Those are our test subjects," the lab superintendant replied. "They are lawyers, and we use them instead of lab rats.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won't do.
 
Two monkeys are sitting in a tree on the edge of the jungle watching a herd of elephants pass by when one noticed a lion darting among the elephants , every time an elephant would crap the lion would run over and eat it , this drove the monkeys bananas so finally one called the lion over and asked him wtf are you doing , the lion replied "I know it's disgusting but I was so hungry this morning I accidentally ate a Lawyer now I can`t get the taste out of my mouth " .
 
Two lawyers walk past a beautiful lady.
One says, "I'd like to screw her!".
The other says, "Out of what? "..
 
What's the difference between a Catfish and a Lawyer?
Well, one is a dirty, ferocious, low down bottom-feeder, and the other is a fish.
 
it was so cold in Nova Scotia last night the lawyers had their hands in own pockets
 
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