Disowning Family Members

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jeff alder

jeff alder

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https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/1578-E-US-Highway-24_Watseka_IL_60970_M89234-38336 This was our family farm. It was a standard Midstate Illinois farmhouse with 5 trees when my grandfather passed. My mom and I turned it into her dream property as you can see in the 49 pictures. When she passed my sisters lost it to a stranger over personal greed. Neither one of them had ever pounded a nail or mowed a blade of grass. A family reunion vote disowned them from the family. The Koi Pond with the waterfall was some of our best work. The tearing out of all the plaster and lath in the house to insulate and install the pine siding was quite a job. We have never seen or heard from the girls since!
 
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2 sisters lost it? "Lost" the property? Like the County/township repo'd it?
I know all about goof sisters, my ***** of one at 60 is still sucking moms tit dry. My Aunt asked her what she will do when Moms gone...she said she will kill herself....I said why wait?
 
4spdragtop said:
2 sisters lost it? "Lost" the property? Like the County/township repo'd it?
I know all about goof sisters, my ***** of one at 60 is still sucking moms tit dry. My Aunt asked her what she will do when Moms gone...she said she will kill herself....I said why wait?
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Steve,
We could have continued farming it and kept the property and annual income for life. They voted to liquidate and run with the money. Illinois majority rules 2 against one!
 
Wow talk about shitty deal! Beautiful work on that property too. Sorry to read....hitmen work cheap now....or so I hear. :rolleyes:
jeff alder said:
Steve,
We could have continued farming it and kept the property and annual income for life. They voted to liquidate and run with the money. Illinois majority rules 2 against one!
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mopar head said:
Man what a beautiful old place, a **** ton of work and $ was poured into that property.
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We did all the work ourselves. Many of the trees came from the DNR for reduced pricing. The only thing I can remember contracting is the windmill. We found an Amish windmill pro that climbed and rebuilt the head of the windmill. We had to drive to pick him up and take him home as he did not have a license or drive.
 
jeff alder said:
We did all the work ourselves. Many of the trees came from the DNR for reduced pricing. The only thing I can remember contracting is the windmill. We found an Amish windmill pro that climbed and rebuilt the head of the windmill. We had to drive to pick him up and take him home as he did not have a license or drive.
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You all did an excellent job, it is a dream home to me.
 
Karrin and I had to move Lucky the farm dog from his home to our house. Some people have no shame. That was my mom and Lucky feeding the Koi and Goldfish. We had a sump pump and filter at one end of the pond and piping buried under the landscaping mounds to the other end. There the water discharged through more filter media and trickled down the rocks for the waterfall. The pond had an aerator and heater to keep the fish alive during the winter. I had bought a Japanese Lionhead for mom's aquarium but a power outage killed most of the fish except him. She netted him and put him in the pond. Every fall she had me come out and catch him to take to a pet store with indoor ponds. The owner kept him during the winter and I had to go catch him every spring and put him back in the pond LOL. Man did I regret buying that fish!
 
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jeff alder said:
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/1578-E-US-Highway-24_Watseka_IL_60970_M89234-38336 This was our family farm. It was a standard Midstate Illinois farmhouse with 5 trees when my grandfather passed. My mom and I turned it into her dream property as you can see in the 49 pictures. When she passed my sisters lost it to a stranger over personal greed. Neither one of them had ever pounded a nail or mowed a blade of grass. A family reunion vote disowned them from the family. The Koi Pond with the waterfall was some of our best work. The tearing out of all the plaster and lath in the house to insulate and install the pine siding was quite a job. We have never seen or heard from the girls since!
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I bet the 235K didn't go far. You couldn't buy that property here for less than a million.
Your sisters made a very bad move forcing the sale, I could never forgive my siblings for such a move.
Why didn't you buy them out, I would have.
 
WOW, it’s incredible what greed can do to rip a family apart. I feel your pain. I’ve disowned a few family members. But not just them but their family’s also. Greed was also the reason. I don’t regret it one bit. The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my mother(may she rest in peace) when she was on he death bed that when she dies they are dead to me also. Seeing how I was the oldest boy at the time she wanted me to keep the family together. I told her that wouldn’t be happening. I told her that I knew she would be looking down on me from above and that I didn’t want her to know I was a liar. Sorry for the long rant. Kim
 
oldkimmer said:
WOW, it’s incredible what greed can do to rip a family apart. I feel your pain. I’ve disowned a few family members. But not just them but their family’s also. Greed was also the reason. I don’t regret it one bit. The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my mother(may she rest in peace) when she was on he death bed that when she dies they are dead to me also. Seeing how I was the oldest boy at the time she wanted me to keep the family together. I told her that wouldn’t be happening. I told her that I knew she would be looking down on me from above and that I didn’t want her to know I was a liar. Sorry for the long rant. Kim
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Honesty is the best policy there Kim. The one sister is a flight attendant that never cared much for her own family. The other one is a pretty big drinker married to a wealthy guy. That's what I could never figure out. On the surface neither one seemed to be hurting for money.
 
fishmens67 said:
I bet the 235K didn't go far. You couldn't buy that property here for less than a million.
Your sisters made a very bad move forcing the sale, I could never forgive my siblings for such a move.
Why didn't you buy them out, I would have.
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You just hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't buy them out. They wanted the immediate cash so I couldn't buy them out. There were 250 acres of farm ground. The total buyout would have been on me for 2/3 of the total property value to settle the estate. I didn't have ready cash in that amount. I would have needed my part of the estate to do it which I couldn't get until after the sale...CATCH 22
 
An absolutely amazing piece of property, I can't imagine how much it broke your heart to see it sold out from under you. I don't know what the real estate market is like there, but my brother bought a similar place here in Alberta, a little smaller, I think his place is about 4 acres. I don't know what he actually paid for it when he bought in 2020, but it was listed for close to $900k.
I have seen firsthand what money and greed can do to people, and it is very sad.

My own experience with siblings has resulted in me having absolutely no contact with one brother, and very limited contact with my sister. I know that it is a painful thing for my mother, but I will not change my feelings about it and she does understand that.
 
jeff alder said:
japanese lionhead fish - Bing That damn fish had a face only a mother could love...LOL
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My mom had a koi pond at lake house years ago and she had the same kind of fish. Her husband would catch them in the fall and bring them inside the house for the winter. They had a large aquarium in the main bathroom for the fish.
 
That sucks.

My wife's brother, who I've known longer than I've known her has always been a little "off", but last year he went off the deep end.
We haven't spoken to him since.

One of her sisters lived with us for over a year. My wife helped pay to put her through CNA school, payed to fix her car and basically found her a job/career with advancement opportunities. When we told her she needed to find her own place to live she got borderline violent, spread false rumors about us and tried to turn the third sister against us.
She still texts my wife occasionally to ask for money.

WTF

Hopefully a clean break and getting on with a reasonably sane life is in our futures.
 
jeff alder said:
https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/1578-E-US-Highway-24_Watseka_IL_60970_M89234-38336 This was our family farm. It was a standard Midstate Illinois farmhouse with 5 trees when my grandfather passed. My mom and I turned it into her dream property as you can see in the 49 pictures. When she passed my sisters lost it to a stranger over personal greed. Neither one of them had ever pounded a nail or mowed a blade of grass. A family reunion vote disowned them from the family. The Koi Pond with the waterfall was some of our best work. The tearing out of all the plaster and lath in the house to insulate and install the pine siding was quite a job. We have never seen or heard from the girls since!
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Gorgeous property. So sad to see it go the way it did.
 
I'm sitting here reading this and just shaking my head in agreement (what you're going through= been there, done that), as well as the comments. Not much to add, other than Time will heal most of this, and I have to believe that Karma will deal with the rest.

You have my sympathy.

Good luck.
 
That sucks, it looks like a nice property. It sounds like my wife's side of the family when Grandma passed a couple years ago. There were 2 farms (600 acres tillable and one farmstead) THere were 4 kids in that family , one had passed (my father in law) so his 4 children (my wife and her brothers) together had one vote. It's like herding cats getting 7 people all heading in the same direction. It finally all got settled after 2 years and my wife and her 3 brothers were able to buy some of the farmland, using their inheritance as a partial down payment. To make it more complicated, my brother in law is farming the land along with my wife's fathers farm (since he has passed) My MIL is in her 80's and when she goes the mess will happen all over again when my wife and her brothers decide to keep the land and rent it out or sell and split the proceeds. It is a complex legal puzzle for sure. Oh and there are some of the family not talking to the rest because of the decisions made. Yet they all got a big check from the land sale.
 
YY1 said:
That sucks.

My wife's brother, who I've known longer than I've known her has always been a little "off", but last year he went off the deep end.
We haven't spoken to him since.

One of her sisters lived with us for over a year. My wife helped pay to put her through CNA school, payed to fix her car and basically found her a job/career with advancement opportunities. When we told her she needed to find her own place to live she got borderline violent, spread false rumors about us and tried to turn the third sister against us.
She still texts my wife occasionally to ask for money.

WTF

Hopefully a clean break and getting on with a reasonably sane life is in our futures.
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Never look a gift horse in the mouth, It never ceases to amaze me how that kindness is expected as if you owed it to her. Ridiculous lack of gratitude.
 
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