Kids on computers. Problems with school.

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toolmanmike

toolmanmike

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I have 2 boys. One 20 and one 14. both are into computers. The oldest did terrible in the first 2 years of college but is a whiz with fixing computer problems. He is a online tech support guy for the Geek squad @ Best buy but is bored to death. My 14 year old is a A and B student as a freshman in High School and is handy with computers too but just brought home a failing grade in pre- Engeering which he was chosen for before enrollment. Me and mom are beside ourselves because neither of us are the way our boys are. We are both hard workers and hoped our boys would follow our footsteps. You can't get anywhere in life unless you work hard to get there. Anybody else have similar problems and how did you correct it. toolmanmike
 
tmm - Don't really know what to tell ya on that one.... Jake is a Sophmore this year in High School and is ranked 10th out of 553 in his class.... The boy took Pre-Calc this year as an elective because he wanted to. He's also taking Electricity and HVAC at VoTech.... Not saying you haven't, but on our end, we have always made school work a priority. (A little too much mabe seeing how he beats himself up if he gets anything less than an A on a test or homework.) We never pull him out of school for a day trip or vacation. He's not even allowed to help me on his B'cuda until all his homework is done. He was also never really into the video game scene, and has only recently started playing around with facebook and the internet.....
 
Toolman, thoes kids are going to do whatever it is that are intent on doing, being good or bad whatever at the age they are now.
Best just to include them in your life as best ya can, and be a an influence.
 
one of my best friends, 21, is and always has been like this... granted he has some issues but im not posting them here...

anyways he can hold a job, works hard, never was really good at school, but placed first @ skills USA for computer Repair...

im the same way with auto... wasn't a great school student... and i didn't turn out to bad...
 
FWIW, I did terrible in high school, except in art classes. wasn't interested in the subjects, wasn't popular, got picked on a ton, school was like a prison. just not a good mindset and environment for me i guess.

But i got out of there and went to college. did not so good the first few semesters, I think it was partialy because it was mostly history, math, physiology classes which i hated and i was still young and stupid and wouldn't tell my friends get lost i have to do homework. lots of assignments were done last minute.

the last two semesters I had mostly art classes and was getting tons of A's graduated with my BFA. no jobs so I went back and I'm getting more A's (yay).

I do admit i get VERY distracted by the internet. I guess there is just so much you can do here. I have been on my winter break and I am having a VERY hard time getting anything done. I just can't get motivated. Finally spent about 10 hours today doing work for my portfolio. I think with me I really need someone around to motivate me and get me going.

As for your situation I would be very careful how you approach the situation. you could easily end up making them care even less about school. Try and find a way to make doing good on tests or doing homework rewarding.
 
I hear ya, both my boys are bright and intelligent. My oldest scored high on the ACT, but was lucky to get a 2.5 GPA in high school. He went to Iowa State for a year, didn't do very good with a GPA below 2.0, so now he's taking the hard road with community college to get his GPA up and go back. My youngest does well in things that interest him, but other things he fails. He's almost 17 and the oldest is almost 20.

I do see hope with my oldest, he just moved out into an apartment, works a retail job for 40 hours a week, so he's learning quickly that life is not as easy as it seems. Hopefully my youngest starts learning that soon. They both have project cars, a 70 Duster and a 92 Z28, both are drivable but rough and I've told them both that anytime they want to work on them, I'll help them, but I'm not going to do anything more on them without them out there. Hopefully I don't get tired of them sitting in the driveways and have to sell them.

So anyways, hang in there, your son sounds like both of mine, and I can see progress in my oldest's work ethic and maturity. I just think kids nowadays take longer to figure life out, whether it's my fault for not being harder on them growing up, or the culture today, or living in an urban area instead of rural like I did, but I have faith that they'll figure it out and be okay.
 
Kids...can't sell em. I bought my son school books. He tore the covers off and ate the pages.
 
I'm in gr. 10 right now, I am awesome with computers but I don't let them get in the way of school. School is the most important thing at my age, if you don't get school done and done well then you don't get anywhere.

Just my opinion
 
My youngest sun when in college , Freshmen year managed a D, Way below what he was capable of. We had set him up with a food allowance that should have lasted the semester. He ate it in a month... well him and his friends.
( He was sharing) or should I say in party mode. I basically grabbed him by the short hairs and said if he expected anymore help from us and wanted to finish college # 1 the grades come up and #2 He got a part time job to help out. No more free ride. His grades came up ( Deans list a couple times) he got a part time job. He also had to make up the credits He missed in the first quarter. We are very proud of Him. I guess what I'm trying to say is,sometimes you have to pull the safety net out from under them. Take the training wheels off the bike and let them crash. Your kids will find their nitch.
 
Thanks guys. I needed some reinforcement. He spends too much time online playing war games but when asked his homework is done. He got A's and a couple of B's for the rest of his grades so we know he's capable. We need to have a talk with the teacher. His final project never got turned in on time apparently due to a printer problem that the teacher and the IT tech knew about. We need to find out what happened.
 
Man, I fondly remember school... And by fondly, I mean I'd rather punch myself in the nads :D

The teachers would get pissed off, because I would finish my work long before the class was over. So I'd spend that extra time with my feet propped up on the desk, reading books that I brought from home.

Math was my worst subject, hated it. English was my favorite subject, it was the only class I wouldn't kick back during :glasses7: This was back before computers became "Mainstream" features in every home and garage, I was a wiz with them. The teachers would come fetch me from a class, to fix a computer that they had screwed up :D

Ironically enough, English was my favorite subject... I became a mechanic, where most of the people I meet butcher the language with a shovel :D You know what I do on the side? Write. :cheers: I've finished two books so far and I'm working on a third.
 
the artful dodger said:
I'm in gr. 10 right now, I am awesome with computers but I don't let them get in the way of school. School is the most important thing at my age, if you don't get school done and done well then you don't get anywhere.

Just my opinion
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I wish I had that attitude 25 years ago!
 
I don't have any kiddos just yet!!! However, I was a jock in HS played all the sports and was around all the parties, but never completed any of my homework assignments. Therefore I barely graduated with my class. I was never really interested in any school work, but I always had a vision of me being successful and doing something cool. Well at 21 I joined the Coast Guard while enlisted I completed my bachelors degree and working on my masters. I was also selected to attend Officer Candidate School last summer. I think the key to my success was that I was never satisfied with where I was in life. I would see people having things that I wanted and that was my driving force. The only time kids or young adults run into issues is when they don't have goals for themselves. Ask them where they want to be in 5 yrs.
 
Honestly I think we put too much push on college. Not everyone is suited for college and becomes a waist of time and money and frustration. How many kids end up their junior year and still don't know what they want to do just to ditch it all and end up in a tech school. I'm a ferm beleaver in tech schools. I think that it should be an out source program for high school Juniors and Seniors.
 
zigs said:
Honestly I think we put too much push on college. Not everyone is suited for college and becomes a waist of time and money and frustration. How many kids end up their junior year and still don't know what they want to do just to ditch it all and end up in a tech school. I'm a ferm beleaver in tech schools. I think that it should be an out source program for high school Juniors and Seniors.
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Man, that is sooo true. There was a study from a guy that has his own Linux company (Remember Linspire?) That tracked a bunch of people that took loans out to get a college education, and those that took loans out for a tech school and a few that just went to work. The college students were in debt for like 17 years and broke about even when they were years into their field. The trade school bunch were out of debt and making good money 6 years later. It weighed college tuition, boarding, etc and it turned out not to be the best route unless you became a hedge fund manager, highly successful stock broker, or a private practice medical profession. Even mid level management (the most unstable job class) didnt catch the trade school techs for years. Just a little reality on college. I see it more as a life course on surviveability and discipline, neither are evident in a college dorm. Of course, there is always the Marines..Ooh Rah! That'll straighten you out.
 
Well I went to college while Active duty in the Coast Guard and graduated with no debt and it opened several opportunities for me so I disagree.
 
toolmanmike said:
Thanks guys. I needed some reinforcement. He spends too much time online playing war games but when asked his homework is done. He got A's and a couple of B's for the rest of his grades so we know he's capable. We need to have a talk with the teacher. His final project never got turned in on time apparently due to a printer problem that the teacher and the IT tech knew about. We need to find out what happened.
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nearly sounds like a bad teacher there. In high school I was making A's and some B's doing really good. I took automotive service and repair at the local community collage, I love working on cars but boy did that course suck! the teacher was on his last year before retiring and did'nt give a F%$K about any of the students. when a couple classmates were discussing the problems with the class one day the teacher walked by and said and I quote "good luck with fixing that problem, I'm on my last year what are they gonna do fire me?, I dont give a flying F%$K I'll just go on early retirement"!:wack::mumum::cwm21:. when he was passing out the mid term reports he was smiling from ear to ear and he said I think some of you will be pleasently surprised, least I won't have as many people to babysit
 
66plyValiant said:
nearly sounds like a bad teacher there. In high school I was making A's and some B's doing really good. I took automotive service and repair at the local community collage, I love working on cars but boy did that course suck! the teacher was on his last year before retiring and did'nt give a F%$K about any of the students. when a couple classmates were discussing the problems with the class one day the teacher walked by and said and I quote "good luck with fixing that problem, I'm on my last year what are they gonna do fire me?, I dont give a flying F%$K I'll just go on early retirement"!:wack::mumum::cwm21:. when he was passing out the mid term reports he was smiling from ear to ear and he said I think some of you will be pleasently surprised, least I won't have as many people to babysit
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Yep we've had a couple of those teachers too.
It's a "Intro to engineering design" class and everyday they write a journal instead of using a textbook. Luke is not a writer and is struggling with this. Apparently his semester project was good but because he couldn't get it printed, he got an F. We hope to have a meeting with the teacher and staff. If he is struggling with the journal writing I think the teacher should help him.
Isn't that what they are there for? Mike
 
Please keep in mind I am not a parent. I quit high school, my father had 5 strokes. He owned a gutter business and my mother did some of the office duties. She could not find a job that paid much so I was working, helping with him and going to school. Something had to give and school was the most logical choice. What would have taken me 10 months,my senior year I got done in under 50 hours of night school. Anyway, I think pulling the safety net out is a good idea. How else is someone going to learn responsibilities other then to experience them? I think you have to go from a more or less supervising parent to a lurking one. One that is there to help pick up the pieces if your kids fail. Notice I said HELP pick up the pieces. If they fail by there own doing, say by the 3 d's, drinking/drugs & dumbness well that is a bit different. The worst thing that ever happened to me strangely was the very thing that taught me about being responsible. And you need to accept that your kids MIGHT very well do things that you can't/don't/won't understand. Like when they come home with the first tattoo. But you have to just let go to a point & understand that as both you & them age your relationship with them must evolve or your kids will end up doing things out of spite and/or hatered of you. This changing of your relationship is very important. My relationship with my parents never evolved & that is the very reason I did not have any contact with them for the 7 years or so prior to there death. You do not want your kids notified of your passing buy the letter they recieve about your will......
 
Words to live by inkjunkie! Well said. tmm
 
toolmanmike said:
Yep we've had a couple of those teachers too.
It's a "Intro to engineering design" class and everyday they write a journal instead of using a textbook. Luke is not a writer and is struggling with this. Apparently his semester project was good but because he couldn't get it printed, he got an F. We hope to have a meeting with the teacher and staff. If he is struggling with the journal writing I think the teacher should help him.
Isn't that what they are there for? Mike
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you would think thats what teachers are for, worst thing is some just don't care (not all of them). only thing is if your kid has a teacher like this you going in for a meeting may stir the pot and make things worse. a guy who was in my class had his parents go in and meet the teacher.

the next day he outed the student in the middle of the class by saying "hey (his name) next time you have a problem with me come to me as an adult insted of getting your mommy to come look after your screw ups.

Cant you tell I had one Mean SOB of a teacher?
 
USCG CHARGER said:
Well I went to college while Active duty in the Coast Guard and graduated with no debt and it opened several opportunities for me so I disagree.
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Alot of kids don't have the binifit of a GI loan. The service does provide for education and that is one of the pay offs in the military you can get alot of low cost or no cost education if you want it. I know alot of people that went to collage just because their parents said so and they did just fine. I'm not bad mouthing collage at all. Just saying there are alot of kids out there that are very talented but don't have the grades for collage, they need more of a hands on education, you show me and I can do it. I see it every day I work for a school district. Maybe 2% of a high school class will move on to collage less then that will apply for a tech school or some sort of special training the rest shuffle into life. I say insted of waisting time on State mandated test that really don't prove alot. Test these kids in the early years of high school to their abilities, maybe even Junior high. Yes teach the fundimentals. Prepare the ones that are moving toward collage and open feilds and possiblities to those that aren't. This isn't being done as of yet.
 
Really not much you can do to "correct" it. They are who they are and have to make their own mistakes like you did. My son was a real clown in school. Never really got into serious trouble, but always wanted to be the center of attention.....even if that attention was bad. It cost him a diploma. He did get his GED and join the Army at 17 with our consent. He went through boot camp TWICE and they still sent him home and told him to retry when he grew up. Now he's 21 and living with his "girlfriend" in Savannah about 4 hours away. He made his own bed and he's gotta lay in it. In essence, that's what we all have done. Some beds are just better than others. I think trying to mold kids into what you want them to be is a mistake. They come out like they come out.
 
Luke came home today and said he talked to the teacher about it. He printed out the project and is supposed to get credit for it. I don't know whether report cards can be amended. We will just have to see what happens. I was proud that he fixed it himself. There's hope for him yet. tmm
 
That's good to hear that he got it sorted out. I think that's the hardest thing for my boys is asking for help and communicating. Communication between students and teachers does wonders, along with just simply going in after school and saying they are struggling and can the teacher help. One of those lessons that you can't really force, they have to learn it on their own to a great extent.
 
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