PlumCrazyJay
70 Dart
Marriage Humor
Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed?
Husband: Yes, dear, I love that trick you do with your mouth.
Wife: What trick?
Husband: The one where you shut up and go to sleep
________________________________
Marriage Counselor: Do you ever look at your wife's face when you make love?
Man: I did once and saw the anger in her face.
Marriage Counselor: What anger?
Man: Because she was watching from the window.
________________________________
1st man: My wife left me yesterday. She said she was going out for milk and never came back.
2nd man: Damn, how are you coping?
1st Man: Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff.
_______________________________
Old Man: Marriage is like a deck of cards.
Young Man: How so?
Old man: In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a damn club and a spade.
________________________________
Wife: Went for my routine check up today.
Husband: Is everything OK?
Wife: Everything seemed to be going fine until he handled my breasts!!!
Husband: Well, that's a normal procedure.
Wife: So you don't think I should change dentist?
________________________________
Policeman: Sir, is this a picture of your wife?
Man: Yes, it is.
Policeman: I'm afraid it looks like she's been in a car accident.
Man: I know, but she has a lovely personality...
________________________________
Clerk: Heavenly Hotel, front desk. How may I help you?
Man: You need to send someone up to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window.
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, but that's a personal matter.
Man: Listen here, you idiot. The window won't open and that's a maintenance matter!
