de69cuda
Well-Known Member
Some I've seen before, but not all of them:
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her
gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the
Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of
Business Week.
Her boyfriend
is on the cover of
Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of
the milk carton.
Keep reading-they
get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after
folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a
television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV
remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband
refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil
thing I could do to him legally.'
KEEP READING ALL
THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take
boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a
spider.
LOTS
MORE TO ENJOY...KEEP SCROLLING DOWN FOR A WHILE.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar
dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to
the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and
wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man,
'Can you name your wife's favorite
flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's
arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
LOTS
MORE TO LAUGH AT...
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders
up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him
if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box
of tampons for his wife..
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge
bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you
were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she
came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's
sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own
.......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk
carton!)
KEEP
ON READING .
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and
neither of them wanted to concede
their position.
As they
passed a barnyard of
mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
MORE
AND MORE YET TO ENJOY.
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to
repeat everything to men....
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'
KEEP
ON GOING.
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't
know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted
to you !
SCROLL
DOWN SOME MORE...
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an
argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it
because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long
to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of
cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it,
and
besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that,
show me..'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened
the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says 'HEBREWS'
YEP, THERE
IS SOME MORE...
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some
problems at home
and were giving each other the silent
treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at
5:00AM.' He left it where he knew she would find
it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only
to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when
he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake
up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
KEEP ON
SCROLLING DOWN...
God may have created man
before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her
gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the
Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of
Business Week.
Her boyfriend
is on the cover of
Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of
the milk carton.
Keep reading-they
get better!!!
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after
folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a
remote control for a
television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV
remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband
refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil
thing I could do to him legally.'
KEEP READING ALL
THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take
boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a
spider.
LOTS
MORE TO ENJOY...KEEP SCROLLING DOWN FOR A WHILE.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar
dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to
the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and
wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man,
'Can you name your wife's favorite
flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's
arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
LOTS
MORE TO LAUGH AT...
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders
up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him
if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box
of tampons for his wife..
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge
bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you
were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she
came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's
sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own
.......... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk
carton!)
KEEP
ON READING .
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road
for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and
neither of them wanted to concede
their position.
As they
passed a barnyard of
mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically,
'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
MORE
AND MORE YET TO ENJOY.
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be
because we have to
repeat everything to men....
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'
KEEP
ON GOING.
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't
know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted
to you !
SCROLL
DOWN SOME MORE...
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an
argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it
because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long
to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of
cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it,
and
besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that,
show me..'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened
the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
says 'HEBREWS'
YEP, THERE
IS SOME MORE...
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some
problems at home
and were giving each other the silent
treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at
5:00AM.' He left it where he knew she would find
it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only
to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when
he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake
up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
KEEP ON
SCROLLING DOWN...
God may have created man
before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece
