My new fishing buddy
My Luck
- Thread starter Mark Wainwright
- Start date
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What archeologists will find 100 years from now
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joel d. snyder
Well-Known Member
till your wife sees her.
harrisonm
Well-Known Member
I'm 5.4 so I'd have to go up on her
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Ed and Carolyn met on a singles cruise, and Ed was instantly smitten. When they found out they lived just a few miles apart, Ed couldn’t believe his luck. As soon as they were back home, he started planning dates, taking her to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies—you name it. Each date felt more magical than the last, and soon Ed was convinced Carolyn was his soulmate.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise, Ed took Carolyn to a fancy restaurant. As they sipped cocktails, Ed leaned in and said, “I think you know how much I care about you. Before things get any more serious, there’s something I have to confess. I’m a huge golf fanatic. I play golf, watch golf, read about golf—it’s practically my life. If that’s a dealbreaker, I’d rather know now.”
Carolyn took a deep breath and replied, “Ed, that’s no problem. I love you, and I love golf too. But since we’re being honest… there’s something you should know. For the past five years, I’ve…well, I’ve been a hooker.”
Ed chuckled, taking her hands in his. “No worries. I bet that’s just because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you swing.”
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise, Ed took Carolyn to a fancy restaurant. As they sipped cocktails, Ed leaned in and said, “I think you know how much I care about you. Before things get any more serious, there’s something I have to confess. I’m a huge golf fanatic. I play golf, watch golf, read about golf—it’s practically my life. If that’s a dealbreaker, I’d rather know now.”
Carolyn took a deep breath and replied, “Ed, that’s no problem. I love you, and I love golf too. But since we’re being honest… there’s something you should know. For the past five years, I’ve…well, I’ve been a hooker.”
Ed chuckled, taking her hands in his. “No worries. I bet that’s just because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you swing.”
Two Palestinians were on a plane. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat.
Just before take-off an Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Palestinians. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Palestinian in the window seat said, “I'm thirsty. I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”
“Tell you what, my friend,” said the Israeli, “I'm in your way. Why don't you stay there, I’ll get it for you.” And off he went.
While he was gone, the Palestinian in the middle seat picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it.
When the Israeli returned with the Coke, the other Palestinian said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.”
Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and, while he was gone, the Palestinian next to his seat picked up the other shoe and spat in it too.
The Israeli returned with the Coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes. When he felt the dampness on his socks, he immediately suspected what had happened.
“Now really, my friends", he lamented, "How long must this go on? This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…these juvenile pranks like spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?”
Just before take-off an Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Palestinians. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Palestinian in the window seat said, “I'm thirsty. I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”
“Tell you what, my friend,” said the Israeli, “I'm in your way. Why don't you stay there, I’ll get it for you.” And off he went.
While he was gone, the Palestinian in the middle seat picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spat in it.
When the Israeli returned with the Coke, the other Palestinian said, “That looks good. I think I’ll have one too.”
Again, the Israeli obligingly went to fetch it, and, while he was gone, the Palestinian next to his seat picked up the other shoe and spat in it too.
The Israeli returned with the Coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoes. When he felt the dampness on his socks, he immediately suspected what had happened.
“Now really, my friends", he lamented, "How long must this go on? This enmity between our people…this hatred…this animosity…these juvenile pranks like spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?”
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