My Luck

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In a psychology class, the professor set up a practical experiment. He placed a male rat in a large cage and positioned a piece of cake on one side, with a female rat on the other.

Curious to see what the male rat would choose, the students watched as it ran straight to the cake and devoured it. The professor then swapped the cake for a piece of bread. Again, the male rat headed directly to the food, ignoring the female rat. This continued as the professor kept changing the type of food, yet each time, the male rat chose the food over the female rat.

At the end, the professor concluded, “This experiment demonstrates that food is the most powerful attraction.”

Suddenly, a student from the back raised his hand and said, “Professor, have you thought about changing the female rat? Maybe that one’s his wife!”

The professor paused, pointed at the student, and said, “Now *that’s* brilliant thinking!”
 
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary, and their three successful children all agreed to join them for a special Sunday dinner.

"Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!" gushed their oldest son, a surgeon. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital and didn’t have time to get you a gift."

"Don't worry," the father replied, "the important thing is that we're all together today."

Their second son, a lawyer, arrived next and said, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions, so I didn't have time to shop for a gift."

"It's nothing," the father said. "We're just glad you could make it."

Finally, their daughter, a marketing executive, walked in. "Hello, and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town, and I was really busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything."

After they finished dessert, the father cleared his throat and said, "There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. But despite that, we managed to send each of you to college. Throughout the years, we knew we loved each other deeply, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and exclaimed, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," the father replied with a grin, "and cheap ones too!"
 
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