My Luck

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80-year-old Bessie

bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds

her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who

can guess what's in

my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in

the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute

and says, "Close enough."
 
A wealthy Arab Sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery,
but prior to the surgery,
they needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood,
it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.
Finally, a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type.
The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood,
a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars. A couple of days later,
once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy,
to donate more of his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman
a Thank-you card and a box of Chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.
He phoned the Arab and asked him:
"I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW,
diamonds and money but you only gave me a Thank-you card and a box of Chocolates."
To this the Arab replied:

"Aye Laddy, but I have Scottish blood in me veins now !"
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