coolhandluke
Well-Known Member
http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/4257134259.html
Here's the deal, kids:
This is a 1972 Dodge Dart
Swinger. This is not a luxury sports car, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has crank windows, wind noise, and character.
It's a COOL car. It will ride like a cloud.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used.
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****:
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR CAR.
DETAILS:
-I don't know how many have owned this Dart. First owner probably barely got it dirty.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with having a pile of fun.
-The motor is brand new not installed yet, HP rating? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
This is an unfinished project that will b a bad *** **** when gets put together.
-The badass, bullet-proof 440 big block will have lots of unnecessary raw POWER .
-4 Speed Tranny will operate perfectly
-Tires new.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ***, so there.
QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Dart for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.
-What's wrong with it?
Need to be finished.
And it's pissed it has been neglected. It needs love.
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Dart. Love the Dart. Give the Dart a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad ****.
-Why isn't it still stock?
Because I want it that way.
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.
-Can you deliver?
No. But really, you should come. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $15,000 not a cent less.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.
-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.
Any other questions, feel free to text only to 678-492-8931 or email but preferably text to my phone! i got many many new parts going with this, so much i cant post pictures of all!
Here's the deal, kids:
This is a 1972 Dodge Dart
Swinger. This is not a luxury sports car, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has crank windows, wind noise, and character.It's a COOL car. It will ride like a cloud.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used.
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook
all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****:
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash
memorized for bail?When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius
an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR CAR.
DETAILS:
-I don't know how many have owned this Dart. First owner probably barely got it dirty.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with having a pile of fun.
-The motor is brand new not installed yet, HP rating? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
This is an unfinished project that will b a bad *** **** when gets put together.
-The badass, bullet-proof 440 big block will have lots of unnecessary raw POWER
.-4 Speed Tranny will operate perfectly
-Tires new.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ***, so there.
QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Dart for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.
-What's wrong with it?
Need to be finished.
And it's pissed it has been neglected. It needs love.
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Dart. Love the Dart. Give the Dart a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car
? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad ****.
-Why isn't it still stock?
Because I want it that way.
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating
to try anything.-Can you deliver?
No. But really, you should come. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $15,000 not a cent less.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.
-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.
Any other questions, feel free to text only to 678-492-8931 or email but preferably text to my phone
! i got many many new parts going with this, so much i cant post pictures of all!
