DISNEYLAND
Two Newfies were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two newfies were sitting on a bench talking, and one says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away. Florida or the moon?'
The other turns and says jezz bye that's easy. Can you see Florida ?????'
CAR TROUBLE
A newfie pushes his BMW into a gas station.. he tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
The newfie says, 'What's the story?'
The mechanic replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
The newf asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a newfie for speeding and asks him if he could see his license.
He replies in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A newfie goes into the doctor's office and said that his body hurt wherever he touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The newfie took his finger, pushed on his left shoulder and screamed, then he pushed his elbow and screamed even more. He pushed his knee and screamed; then he pushed his ankle and screamed. Everywhere he touched made him scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not from Ontario are you?
No he said, 'I'm actually from Newfoundland.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
IN A VACUUM
A newfie was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.... It was his turn. He rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. His question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' he thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY, THE NEWFIE JOKE TO END ALL NEWFIE JOKES!
A guy was visiting his newfie friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked him what their names were.
The newfie replied that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
His friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
Dats easy answered the newfie 'They're watch dogs'!
