Ricer's Night Before Christmas

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SCredneck

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Location
Walterboro, SC
Twas the night before christmas and caught at the light,
was a domestic v8 and no cops in sight.
I will try, I will try, I will try with this small motor,
to beat this damn Mopar, even with its big blower.
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke.
The Mopar erupts in clouds of tire smoke.
Now smasher, now rev-ver, now stroker, now blitzin,
these are the names of my four vtec pistons.
Racing ahead I'm the star of the action,
but I know I'm in trouble when that bigblock gets traction.
Grabbing second, I hear the rpm sing.
My mirror is blocked by my shopping cart wing.
I now hear the roar, of that big monster gaining.
All I can do is keep that four banger straining.
In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
and my stickers go flying, now a thing of the past.
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late.
Just try and act cool, like you can relate.
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
the driver backs off just to give me a holler.
"you can't win them all," he says in a fling.
"you may not win any in that silly thing.
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
with my new mods, tomorrow will be a better night. 
 
not xmas poem but another car one

Dear Loud Muffler Guy,
From the way your Muffler sounds, I can tell your important. When I hear you coming down the street I ask myself, "Is this a Ferarri coming? Is this a Lotus?" and then I see you "Loud Muffler Guy".

This always leaves me with such an empty feeling, I expect to see something really awesome but what I end up seeing is a modified 'average car'. Don't get me wrong Mr. Loud Muffler Guy, I am really impressed with your muffler sound and your loud stereo system as well! But please don't turn it up louder to please me.

I guess what I really want to say to you sir, is that in this world of cookie cutter quiet cars, you really push the envelope, you stand up as if to say:

"I wasn't hugged enough as a child and need more attention, and I am not handsome nor fit, but my car is loud - so girls - please come over and ask me why my Muffler Hole is so big."

I tip my hat to you sir - remember - its not about how good you are, its about how much attention your can draw.
 
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