The internet and faithfullness

Does the internet

  • Inspire people to do it

    Votes: 3 5.3%

  • Reveal People's true selves

    Votes: 27 47.4%

  • Combination of the two

    Votes: 17 29.8%

  • other

    Votes: 10 17.5%
  • Total voters
    57
-
C

CanadianGT

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2004
Messages
372
Reaction score
0
So it seems not even in the past month I've heard of 5 or so guys who wives, girlfriends, fiances etc who hooked up with someone else over facebook or the internet. Simple little poll I'm just curious to see the general opinion.

IMO the internet reveals a persons true self in every way, shape or form.
 
I agree. If facebook is all it took to make someone cheat on their spouse or spouse to be, then they were predispositioned to do it anyway. In the long run the person that was cheated on is probably better off without them.

Jack
 
it is easy to be someone else or not seem attached to a situation because of the no personal contact you get. you can be whom ever you want and it all seems so innocent and surreal. you have to be careful. it can be a real eye opener for some.......
 
I figure if she wants to go she will go regardless of the net/facebook.

And although it would hurt, I invite her to leave if she's not happy here with me... the sooner the better for both of us.

That might sound bad but thats just the way I feel about the whole relationship thing and yes she is well aware of that as well.
 
I feel about the same way as you guys.

She/he is going to do it anyway, internet or no internet. If you don't have trust, you have NOTHING. Tammy knows if I screw up (not happening) or she just doesn't want to be here anymore, she is perfectly welcome to walk out the front door with no hard feelings. I will miss her dearly and probably love her forever anyway, but there is no reason to cheat. If you/they are not happy, then leave.
If your spouse goes out sometimes with his/her friends and doesn't come home, you should feel rock solid confident that they are sleeping on a buddy's couch and not shacked up somewhere and that they will call you as soon as they wake their drunk *** up. No, I havn't done this (have I?) but if I did my wife/me would be ok with it occasionally. We have only had one fight, ever, years ago and neither one of us even cares what it was about.
You just don't say mean words or things to someone you love and we never piss each other off on purpose.
I know this is rare, but I feel that if your spouse is not your best friend and you don't have this kind of love and trust in your relationship you're wasting your time. Is restricting her movements or making her stay at home, no facebook, no myspace etc. really going to make her love you more? I don't think so.

Just my humble opinion.
 
I don't think it's the fault of the internet, the internet and facebook in particular just make it easier to talk, flirt, whatever. People feel more comfortable when they aren't face to face saying things I guess.
I'm on FB and so is my wife. We have had no problems. It's nice to re-connect with people from school, or family and keep in touch. I'm better friends with some of them now because of FB than I was in the past. I guess ultimately it's the person who is in charge of themselves, the internet doesn't make anyone do anything other than stay up late at night or slack off at work.
 
Cheaters were around long before the web was created. The only difference is rather than to look next door or in the grocery store for an affair, they can they can find some strange from the comfort of home. Too bad for the milk man, mail man, butter and egg man, tennis instructor, LOL
For me that is the most fasinating thing about the www. It has everything that anyone is looking for.
 
340 Dart said:
If your spouse goes out sometimes with his/her friends and doesn't come home, you should feel rock solid confident that they are sleeping on a buddy's couch and not shacked up somewhere and that they will call you as soon as they wake their drunk *** up. No, I havn't done this (have I?) but if I did my wife/me would be ok with it occasionally. We have only had one fight, ever, years ago and neither one of us even cares what it was about.
You just don't say mean words or things to someone you love and we never piss each other off on purpose.
I know this is rare, but I feel that if your spouse is not your best friend and you don't have this kind of love and trust in your relationship you're wasting your time. Is restricting her movements or making her stay at home, no facebook, no myspace etc. really going to make her love you more? I don't think so.

Just my humble opinion.
Click to expand...

I agree 340 Dart. Trust is the foundation that the house of a relationship is built upon. If that trust is solid as rock, the house won't go sliding into the sea at the first storm.
 
If you don't see the apple you may not think about eating one.

I h8 facebook and do know of several guys who's wifes have hooked up with past lovers by being on it and reliving the glory days with their old boyfriends.

I don't like it.
 
what exactly could be listed under "other"?? seems to me like all the options are listed ?
 
Coyote Jack said:
I agree. If facebook is all it took to make someone cheat on their spouse or spouse to be, then they were predispositioned to do it anyway. In the long run the person that was cheated on is probably better off without them.

Jack
Click to expand...

Indeed.....

I'm pretty young, but in my short lifetime, the lives I have seen destroyed by the internet were by people that were up to no good even without the internet.....
 
I agree with most of the comments and I believe the internet is like the gun laws in canada. Its not the gun that kills people it the person behind it.

My wife and I are are both on FB and our relationship is solid, I think its like mentioned earlier if it happened, it was gioing to happen somehow someway.
OMHO
 
jmo Other= people slip into the idea that the internet is it's own world, a different world, where they can lead separate lives or taste test like a free sample tray at the local costco. They can either buy/trade and end their real life or just turn their nose & walk away like nothing happened.

People are generally selfish.
 
Burntorange70 said:
The grass is always greener on the other side and there is a lot of grass on the internet.
Click to expand...


What most people find out, though, is that's not green grass they're looking at. It's moldy cow s***. To not have the discernment to know is the real issue.


As someone pointed out, the internet is anonymous. SpaceBook (yes, I know, don't point it out...) aside, the internet is a mysterious place. And it's it's the mystery of it that appeals to people. Go into Yahoo chat or AIM chat and see how many people are in there looking for "chat." (It's rather ridiculous.) For a lot of people it's the fantasy of it, the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want without having to deal with the repercussions later. I guess that could be put in the "other" catagory.
As for those going on to SpaceBook and falling for the "old flame," again, isn't it discernment? Isn't there a reason this person is the "ex?" Is it really about trying to live a fantasy life instead of living the life before you?
 
Burntorange70 said:
The grass is always greener on the other side and there is a lot of grass on the internet.
Click to expand...


That's what I am saying.

If you don't own a gun you can't shoot anyone.
If you don't put yourself in a compromising position than your integrity cannot be compromised.

There are a lot of apples.....I have one at home and I enjoy and appreciate it every chance I get. Yea I look at other apples.....but looks do not kill...relationships that is.

Cheaters will always be cheaters but the internet makes it easier to cheat.....look on craigslist on Friday evening.

It just helps the situation become easier to happen.

That being said.....if it were not for the internet we would not be having this interesting conversation.

Mop
 
340 Dart said:
I feel about the same way as you guys.

She/he is going to do it anyway, internet or no internet. If you don't have trust, you have NOTHING. Tammy knows if I screw up (not happening) or she just doesn't want to be here anymore, she is perfectly welcome to walk out the front door with no hard feelings. I will miss her dearly and probably love her forever anyway, but there is no reason to cheat. If you/they are not happy, then leave.
If your spouse goes out sometimes with his/her friends and doesn't come home, you should feel rock solid confident that they are sleeping on a buddy's couch and not shacked up somewhere and that they will call you as soon as they wake their drunk *** up. No, I havn't done this (have I?) but if I did my wife/me would be ok with it occasionally. We have only had one fight, ever, years ago and neither one of us even cares what it was about.
You just don't say mean words or things to someone you love and we never piss each other off on purpose.
I know this is rare, but I feel that if your spouse is not your best friend and you don't have this kind of love and trust in your relationship you're wasting your time. Is restricting her movements or making her stay at home, no facebook, no myspace etc. really going to make her love you more? I don't think so.

Just my humble opinion.
Click to expand...

Very well said.. and all very true.. In my opinion, the internet is simply a tool.. and thats it.. Cheaters will always cheat, and find a way to do it.. the internet just makes it easier, but in no way plants the seed to cheat, or inspires anyone to cheat.. that comes from within..
 
If a person is cheating or going to cheat, it means they don't love their spouse anymore. Why do they stay? It's not fair to either person in the relationship, and often the 3rd party guy/girl gets hurt as well.

Sheer selfishness on the part of the cheater. Cake eaters.
 
Jester said:
If a person is cheating or going to cheat, it means they don't love their spouse anymore. Why do they stay? It's not fair to either person in the relationship, and often the 3rd party guy/girl gets hurt as well.

Sheer selfishness on the part of the cheater. Cake eaters.
Click to expand...

How does one know this to be true?
 
i hate the net,and computers in general.i think my space,fb,and everything like it are crap.it can be almost an addiction,and with any habbit it brings defects of character to the surface.the only people my wife and i talk to via computer are u guys,and her folks on the east coast.let me ask this....why would your spouse look up an old flame anyway?unless there were somthing still there.or you were just a second best replacement.the net does not make people cheat,it just makes it eaiser to start down that path.....i agree with wild and crazyguy,people are selfish ,and often my own generation disgusts me.
 
Not many know this, but I met Billy in late 2000 in a hot rod chat room on aol when I lived in SoCal and he lived near New Orleans. Our first phone call a couple years later lasted 5 1/2 hours.

In July of 2003, I quit my job of 7+ years, packed up my Cuda and everything I owned, bought a F350 dually crew cab (to haul my hot rod and my crap lol), rented a U-haul car trailer and moved to Luling, Louisiana.

He still says I have more 'balls' than anybody he ever knew taking a chance like that. Personally, I figured it was a 50/50 shot -- either it would work or it wouldn't, and I was tired of California anyway.

Obviously it kinda worked out haaaaaaaa
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
-

Back
Top