The Laws of

-

Mark Wainwright

FABO Gold Member
FABO Gold Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2017
Messages
28,268
Reaction score
66,235
Location
Ontario Canada
1.Law of Mechanical Repair -After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch, and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity
- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability
- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers
- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5.Supermarket Law
- As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6.Variation Law
-If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.


7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters
- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result
- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena
- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance, or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law
- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces
- The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15.Law of Logical Argument
-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
-As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law
- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
 
"2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner."..............................I would add, the nut, screw or bolt will fall, roll away into another universe never to be found again until days later when you no longer need it!!!
 
20. Assembly Law - Once you have reassembled something and are admiring your work, you will notice an internal part on the bench you forgot to install.
 
20. Assembly Law - Once you have reassembled something and are admiring your work, you will notice an internal part on the bench you forgot to install.

tci-torque-converter-on-workbench-scaled.jpg
 
"2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner."..............................I would add, the nut, screw or bolt will fall, roll away into another universe never to be found again until days later when you no longer need it!!!
Or you bought one. That's happened more than once.
 
When working on an unknown carb, you lift the top and sprong, you catch a glimpse of a silver ball hurling toward the ceiling then you hear ping, ping, ping, you have no idea which way the sound came from. You look down and you forgot to sweep the floor. At that moment head hangs arms fall to sides and a huge groan is heard. If your lucky 4 hrs later you notice they gave you one in the carb kit. Like I said been there done that. LMAO.
 
To a lot of people tobacco smoke is offensive, I get that so I am very respectful with my smoking. Today I went to a local restaurant for lunch, sat down ordered and 3 women walked in and sat about 4 tables away from me. The stench of the perfume they were warring made my eyes water. I got up the owner look at me and with a finger point and a wave of my hands he knew my order was cancelled and why. That my friends is worse than cigarette smoke. Should be outlawed my opinion
 
To a lot of people tobacco smoke is offensive, I get that so I am very respectful with my smoking. Today I went to a local restaurant for lunch, sat down ordered and 3 women walked in and sat about 4 tables away from me. The stench of the perfume they were warring made my eyes water. I got up the owner look at me and with a finger point and a wave of my hands he knew my order was cancelled and why. That my friends is worse than cigarette smoke. Should be outlawed my opinion
It's one thing to walk by and notice, another thing to be bombed with it.
 
To a lot of people tobacco smoke is offensive, I get that so I am very respectful with my smoking. Today I went to a local restaurant for lunch, sat down ordered and 3 women walked in and sat about 4 tables away from me. The stench of the perfume they were warring made my eyes water. I got up the owner look at me and with a finger point and a wave of my hands he knew my order was cancelled and why. That my friends is worse than cigarette smoke. Should be outlawed my opinion
Yeah but the smell of perfume won't kill you.
My good friend just lost his wife of 50 years because of those dam things.
They spent their 50th anniversary and her 72nd birthday in the hospital with the love of his life on a morphine drip. If that isn't a good reason to quit then nothing is.
Sorry to be blunt but those are the real facts
 
Yeah but the smell of perfume won't kill you.
My good friend just lost his wife of 50 years because of those dam things.
They spent their 50th anniversary and her 72nd birthday in the hospital with the love of his life on a morphine drip. If that isn't a good reason to quit then nothing is.
Sorry to be blunt but those are the real facts
Not disputing any of those facts all true. But I shouldn’t have to sit in a restaurant or stand in an elevator with my eyes watering gagging on some person’s perfume or cologne. Simply rude. If your body odour is that bad take a shower
 
Not disputing any of those facts all true. But I shouldn’t have to sit in a restaurant or stand in an elevator with my eyes watering gagging on some person’s perfume or cologne. Simply rude. If your body odour is that bad take a shower
I can promise you, I've come across people who should have bathed in perfume to mask the B.O.
 
Not disputing any of those facts all true. But I shouldn’t have to sit in a restaurant or stand in an elevator with my eyes watering gagging on some person’s perfume or cologne. Simply rude. If your body odour is that bad take a shower
I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. Even worse when you're in line and the person in front of you just reeks of smoke. UGH!!!
 
I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. Even worse when you're in line and the person in front of you just reeks of smoke. UGH!!!
I used to smoke javaanse jongens, and I swear it didn't stink anything like the cigarettes people smoke today

Javaanse_Jongens_Tembaco.jpg
 
But you`ll sit around a camp fire and reek of wood smoke.
Come on karens.:rolleyes:

O.M.G.
Did you just equate obnoxious cigarette smoke with a campfire?
I've been told smoking ruins your sense of smell. (among all the other horrible things it does to you)
You've just proved it.

(Especially a mesquite wood campfire)
 
To a lot of people tobacco smoke is offensive, I get that so I am very respectful with my smoking. Today I went to a local restaurant for lunch, sat down ordered and 3 women walked in and sat about 4 tables away from me. The stench of the perfume they were warring made my eyes water. I got up the owner look at me and with a finger point and a wave of my hands he knew my order was cancelled and why. That my friends is worse than cigarette smoke. Should be outlawed my opinion

Law Number N: If I'm getting on a plane, some *** has to cram in a few sticks of Wrigley's Doublemint as they're boarding, which gives me a head-splitting headache instantly.
 
-
Back
Top