I don't know you so please don't take this the wrong way....it is not directed at you.
We follow a fairly modest set of rules here on the sites, and some members can't even abide by them. Take for example the few old geezers who seem to think they can snub their noses at the rules and interject their items for sale where they feel like it without it being in the appropriate Classified Advertising thread/forum. They get pulled up about it and they go nasty and start a hate campaign. What the hell is wrong with these people?
This site costs nothing to advertise your parts - for sale or wanted. So why the resistance to post your own advertisements? Other members have made quite a good market for themselves by being known as good sellers - and followers go to them straight away.
Other examples include the in-fighting, bickering and outright insulting of other members directly. We pull those comments out and there's an uproar again from those who probably also wanted to vent their spleen. I don't get it. We came here to talk about cars....all the other stuff is just fluff in the eyes of the site owner. It is allowed and tolerated to a degree, but it doesn't add value to the car talk.
On the subject of explaining to members about what and why a post/thread was pulled with no reason at the time. There are times when a member is so habitual in posting the wrong stuff or in the wrong place that we just get sick of the "Please explain" and we carry on tidying up everything else. Most deletions or removals go with a simple note - that's all we are obliged to do. Anything more usually just ends up in a long-winded discussion or argument - neither of which most Mods have the time or inclination for.
As far as reaching out to members goes....well, I have currently 62 pages of Private Messages saved over at FBBO - I save every conversation I have with members just to remind me and also have a reference point when questions are asked. I had dozens of pages lost in each of the past software updates and site alterations. Many of those messages are those of which you speak - they are explaining, appeasing and requesting a member to either comply or see reason in that particular incident. I have reached out to so many members here in an effort to keep them happy that I wish I had kept score of that now. Some of those most disagreeable members at the start of our exchanges have ended up becoming friends.
Back to the pulling of a comment or thread that includes disputes between a member and a Vendor (whether site registered or not) - it is simply bad business for the site to become entangled in such discussions. Without substantial evidence or proof of what happened, and getting both sides of the story - it is not worth getting involved. Mods cannot and will not get involved. I know from the one time I tried to help out, it only made things more difficult for me and the Vendor involved. The Vendor in that case is well-known to these sites, and in the end it was the member who was at fault, but he couldn't see the issue. There is also the issue of the site becoming liable for any comments made - we do not want that at all.
I hope this helps.
